Monday, April 7, 2008


Ah!...Well you see, when the poet uses the term 'hoth en orqur' to denote the goblin horde in conjunction with the phrase'yeltien en ailoki', it is a clear reference to the famous 'Lay of Athelian' in which the main character tricks the dragon into larger and larger promises, clearly reflecting in how each stem increases in syllables, thus giving the listener the ability to experience the load of the new demands as the listener's mind has to accomodate a growing body of information. This is a technique that was first used only about three thousand years ago, and relates to the current events in the sense of....What are you saying?

Oh, what does it mean? Well, that is what I am trying to explain to you, you silly dwarf. The LITERAL meaning may be 'Bravely facing the goblin horde and the anger of the dragon', but that is not the DEEPER meaning of this poem. Obviously, you need to get acquainted with some of the principals of Late Conceptual Elvish Poetic Theory before you even bother to ask me that question. Sometimes, I swear, our art is wasted upon lesser races. I know you saved our outpost and killed the dragon and all, but some respect for our art!

Elven gratitude is not without its perils. After having been treated to an inordinate amount of feasting, involving a variety of forest mushrooms, berries and interestingly flavoured root, coupled with (very) small slices of meat, the lethality of elven firewine becomes rather obvious to the party. It is a wonder and a testament to their resolve and cool under fire that they manage to respond to the 32 verse long tribute given to them in high elvish by the resident 'conceptual poet' of the elven outpost with nothing more violent than a gracious yawn. The hamsters on the other hand, are quite happy with the fare, having lived of cave mushrooms for the last few millennia, and their culinary horizons have been broadened dramatically in the space of a few hours. In fact, they manage to convince the high herbologist of the outpost to outfit them with maps detailing the presence of various mushrooms and plants, and decide to devote their lives to going off scouring the world for exotic berries and fruit. After some heated discussion, they decide to fly the party over to the gnomish hamlet the next morning

The return to the hamlet is awkward, to say the least. The hamsters expectations are high, and the disappointment crushing. The gnomes are as far away from being the mythic godlike beings that brought the fire of wisdom to their ancestors as could be possible. Still, the gnomes are grateful for their book, and treat the party to yet another celebration feast. The food is better the drink is quaffable, and the songs are of the '21 barrels of ale on the wall'-variety. The party once again bask in the adoration of the gnomes, and sing along happily.

The next morning, the hamsters prepare their ships for flight. The world outside of Mt. Snaefang beckons, and they have much work(and eating) ahead of them. Deciding to take to the skies once more, they bid the party farewell. As the ships are lifting their anchors, Mendez launches himself at one of the ropes, and stands on anchor as it is pulled up. Laughing and waving to the rest of the party, he draws his sword and points at the horizon.

As the ships disappear into the cloudy skies, the party swear that they hear Mendez' voice proudly ringing from above, 'Mendez: playboy, starship skipper!' before all is quiet again.

Perhaps a trip back to seawell to sell their stuff might be in order?


Joebroesel said...

Berries and mushrooms! They should have taken our stuff back to the outpost!!! Useless ;-) Good that we have a carriage from the orcs left.

Eolar, who would like to go back to the outpost as gnomes are not very religious. He offers to take a carriage back to the outpost and sell what we don't need.

Hedzor said...

Really nice summation of at least four separate races.
So, it's off from the Gnome Hamlet you go.
Bugger, that throws out my progression order.
Oh well, time to revise my death schemes.

RoboGeek said...

I think a co-authored book is in order - words by Dag, poetry by Paul, illustrations by Kirk, and story by all of us!
I'd buy a copy!
So does this mean we are already in Seawell, or considering going there from the Gnome hamlet (via Grimes and his valley stronghold?)

Insanodag said...

You are, as of this post, in the gnome hamlet. Kirk could, however, move us anywhere he thinks it is necessary, though.

Hedzor said...

You'll be traveling from the Gnome Hamlet I'm afraid.
You were going to meet Grimes anyway, but now you might avoid your reunion with Bailey.

As for the book...
I'm offended; it should be Illustrations by Dag, Words by Paul and Poetry by me:

'Would you kill me in the sky?
Could you stab me while I fly?
I would, I could, with heavy metal.
I would, I should you silly petal!'


Cynan said...

you dont think i could do the illustrations or what? =)

Insanodag said...

As long as by 'illustrations', you mean poorly proportioned stickfigures and bad could be doable.

RoboGeek said...

Kirk, stick to the drawing ;)
Actually, I am kidding, I think you certainly have a way with words, it is after all how you make your living!

I am sure Paul could draw, he has already proved himself to be a man of many skills, it would not suprise me if he could put Michelangelo to shame with a brush and a drop of paint!

In fact, I left out Sven who I think could contribute religious invective, character development and general story padding!

Note how I left myself out ... maybe I could do a website? No - Sven is the man for that too!

Hedzor said...

Indeed I do!
Haven't you seen the recent Radio script what I wrote?