Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Fourth Voyage of Mendez

Mendez, guilt ridden for causing the death of one of the Hamsters, resumes his journey directly home. Unfortunately the Sky-ship develops a fault and the panicking Hamsters are forced to make an emergency landing on the first available island.
They set down on a beautiful beach and, while repairing the Sky-ship; they are approached by a group of semi-naked Human natives.
They seem friendly and offer the hamsters fruits and herbs. The Hamsters are unable to resist, but Mendez suspiciously waves the food away.
Soon it becomes apparent that these ‘herbs’ are drugs that rob the Hamsters of reason. Mendez roars with anger and sets about the savages with his enchanted sword. The dozen or so natives are sorely outmatched and Mendez makes short work of them. Those he doesn’t kill, run off in terror.
Once the Hamsters are themselves again, Mendez posts some guards and sets off to explore the island.
Again, he stumbles into unsafe land.
Tumbling through soft earth Mendez finds himself in a burial ground where all the corpses have precious jewels pressed into their eye sockets. With no regard to their dignity, Mendez prizes out these gems, scrambles back out of the hole and races back to the Sky-ship.
Some of the Hamsters have gathered food and water and once the repairs are finished, they’re soon sailing above the clouds again.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Current Hit Points, Constitution Loss, Spells Used and Arrows/Bolts etc

Telfis: HPs: 48
Bodush: HPs: 35
Garjarpan: HPs: 17
Eolar: HPs: 60
Elogyn: HPs: 34
Meldo: HPs: 31
Thesis: HPs: 83 -7
Kruddo: HPs: ? -11 (-3 Con?)
Chicken: HPs: 1
Durin: HPs: ? -13( -3 Con?)

Everyone let me know how many arrows/bolts/stones initially had and how many used.

Bodush, Telfis, Eolar, Elogyn, Thesis and Wer... What spells have you remembered/used.

Everything was reset after your nine hour rest stop at the bottom of the stairs.
Since then you've faced six Huloms, Pandit Beck and three normal Derros.

You are currently in one of the donor/prisoner cell rooms.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Ozul and Toalden

Elogyn felt the hit against her shoulder, grabbed her mace and quickly turned round to land a hit on whoever attacked her. She could see a ugly face, felt her mace coming down hard on the creature in front to her and suddenly the room was filled with light. She looked around where it came from, but it seemed to be just there. The troll in front of her also ignored her. She tried to hit him again, but the mace went straight through! She shouted over to Eolar to find out what to do but he just had a shocked face and didn't seem to hear her over the noise of the battle.
She made a few steps back, picked up her crossbow and fired, just to see that the bolt bounced off the stalactite behind the troll. He appeared to be see-through and weapons couldn't harm him it seems. She turned round just to see Telfis standing in front of her with his crossbow aimed directly at her! The bolt left the crossbow and Elogyn, absolutely shocked by that, tried to dodge it. Without success! Interestingly she couldn't feel the pain as the bolt went into her chest. She looked down and to her amazement couldn't see a wound! Confused, she saw the troll collapse behind her. Did Telfis just shoot through her??
And then the laughter started. She looked up and saw two people standing a few feet away who looked like paladins. They were lucent and the rest of the party didn't seem to notice them. They also didn't seem to notice her as Thesis just tried to run her over!! She looked at the paladins again as one of them started to speak: "It's a strange feeling, isn't it! Are you a first-timer?". Elogyn was totally puzzled now "What do you mean? And who are you??". "Forgive me, we didn't introduce ourself properly! I'm Ozul of Alan-Gareth and this is my friend Toalden from Egoralgat. We are paladins in ordinary of the Church of Shon. And who are you if I may ask?". "Elogyn, cleric of St.Cuthbert and protege of Eolar, member of the council in Seawell. What are you doing here?". With a smile on his face and pointing past Elogyn he asked "Is Eolar the fellow over there?".
Elogyn turned round and just as she wanted to confirm the question, she noticed the body lying on the ground. It looked suspiciously like her body!! Eolar was kneeling next to it concentrating on a scroll, while the others tried to drag him away. The voices sounded quite muffled. The dwarf was just about to pick up her....body.
"Nice party you've joined there! So.....divers!". Elogyn looked from the paladins back to the others. Just now she noticed that her body....the body she was in right now...also had the glowing aura around it that the paladins had. "What....what...what happened???". "You bravely took on a troll that was a lot bigger than you and made a quick step to the celestial plane!" Ozul said and Toalden couldn't hide the sniggering. "Step to the celestial plane?? You mean, I'm..." "dead!" offered Toalden and burst out in laughter. "Took you quite a while to realize!!".
Elogyn looked around. This would explain why everything was filled with light and she didn't feel that good for....ever? She looked helplessly at the two paladins who smiled at her "It can be quite confusing if you are here the first time. Come on, we'll show you around!". "But I can't! I have to go back! Eolar counts on me!!". "Don't you worry, I have the feeling you'll be back soon if I read the words on the scroll correctly. It still gives us enough time to introduce you to some friends. Time is relative here!".

Doing it for the Booty

Thesis: 100gp from Grimes.
Durin: 100gp from Grimes.
Eolar: 100gp from Grimes.
Elogyn: 100gp from Grimes.
Telfis: 100gp from Grimes.

2x sacks of gold from Grimes' Orc guards: 1000gp total

From Pandit Beck:
MWKs Small Dagger
Scroll: LightningBolt x5 120’ (8d6)
Potion: Cure Serious Wounds
Horn of Blasting: 40’ cone/ 5d6+deafness(save=half and no deafness.)
Gold: 20gp

From Normal Derros:
2 x Small Short Swords
2 x Small Light Crossbows
10 x doses of Greenblood oil (Poison=1con/2con)

Wide-eyed and Legless

The room the adventurers find themselves in is about 16’ square with six, metal barred cells lining either side. There is a raised central bulwark about 3’ from the back wall that gives a reasonable defensive position to fire arrows or bolts towards the door.
The door is intact, thanks to Telfis, and can be rebolted. The walls are solid stone.
Thesis stares around at the assorted amputees in the room. It disturbs him to see them.
His offer to ‘put them out of their misery’ was more based on his own discomfort than their despair.
The two Orc’s seem in a better mental state than the humans, though despite everything, all five males seem sane.
It’s hard to tell with the woman without a face, as she will not come out of the corner.
When she does occasionally turn around, her eyes stare unblinkingly.
Both Orc’s are missing an arm each, but have taken the small swords off the two dead Derro.
One Human is missing both his legs, another both his arms. One poor soul has had all his limbs removed. His anguish made worse as he seems to be a tough and seasoned veteran.
The young woman is whole aside from her face. You would guess her to be only around seventeen or eighteen.
Even Bodush is troubled by this obvious evil.


The unfortunate side effect of a large party is that the experience isn’t just divided by a greater number, but that the threat level of your opponents is reduced.
This effectively means; you’re not just one party of adventures… you’re two.
Saying that, although only Thesis and Durin (Durin was 6th level right?) managed to go up a level, the rest of you headed in the right direction.

Thesis: 28,707 xp (8th Level!: Fighter:6/Cleric:1/Barbarian:1)
Durin: 21,079 xp (7th Level!: Barbarian:7)
Eolar: 27,106 xp (7th Level: Cleric:5/Ranger:2)
Elogyn: 9,244 xp (4th Level: Cleric:4)
Telfis: 26,626xp (7th Level Rogue:5/Bard:2)
Kruddo: 14,099 xp (5th Level: Fighter:5)
Bodush: 24,567 xp (7th Level: Sorcerer:7)
Wer: 22,756xp (7th Level: Druid:7)
Mendez: 29,752 xp (8th Level: Ranger:3/Barbarian:2/Fighter:3)

Hope you all enjoyed yourselves last night. If you want to, we’ll play the next part in two weeks time.
Sort out Assif with some sort of teckie/trekkie communicator.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Dwarven Focus

Durin is momentarily distracted by an odd rock formation.
“Go on without me. I'll just be a minute.”
Before anyone can stop him, the Dwarf is gone.

Revoltingly Soft

After a whispered conversation, Bodush 'volunteers' Kruddo to knock on the door.
He then, followed by Wer and her dog Masienta, steps back about twenty feet.
Sighing deeply, Kruddo pulls back and releases the huge brass door knocker. Everyone is surprised by the noise it makes. Rather than the loud booming expected, it chimes like a gong.
They all wait expectantly….
Nothing happens.
Kruddo knocks/chimes again and listens for any activity behind the door…
They start to feel impatient when Kruddo waves them to be silent.
Something is coming.
A sound of scrabbling comes from the other side of the door, the small hatch flies open and a face appears pressed up to the high hatch.
It is wild and weird looking.
Kruddo has to step back a little to see the creatures face, and when he does he shudders in revulsion. Derro’s. A race that brings nothing but shame to their Dwarven cousins.
“Eh! What do youuu want now?”
The wild haired, pale skinned creature looks at you with it’s bulging, pupiless eyes.
Kruddo demands entrance, and again Bodush is surprised by the creatures compliance.
“Step back from the door and I’ll open it.”
Kruddo backs away from the door and stands with his team-mates.
With an obvious click, Bodush, Kruddo, Wer and Masienta feel the floor drop from under them. They try to leap clear but the distance is too far and they all tumble down.
They fall about thirty feet but are fortunately saved from serious harm by a softish landing.
Revoltingly though, the soft landing is provided by a dozen or so corpses of giant caterpillar-like creatures.
Springing to her feet, Wer is just about to change form and fly back up when, with the sound of laughter echoing through the corridor, the floor above them reseals itself.
Dusting himself down, Kruddo takes in their new situation.
They seem to be in another tunnel, about the same size and direction as the one above but natural rather than worked.
There are several tunnels leading of from here that you can use.
But you can hear voices coming from ahead. It’s coming from one of two tunnels.
Wer, eager to get away from the others volunteers to take Masienta down one while Bodush and Kruddo try the other.

Kruddo, Bodush, Wer and Masienta all take 8 points of damage from the fall.
No one has cast any spells or used any special abilities today.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

You Encounter a Door

Wer looks up at the conceited Sorcerer and waves him away.
Transforming into a Bat, Wer flaps after the supercilious Human.
Out of defiance, Wer decides to remain in that form for the next few hours.
Once on the other side, there's a great deal of equipment strewn about the sand.
It is all of Meldo’s load, but there are several things here that could be useful. (Including some food and oil.)
Meldo seems quite pleased at the company, but then again, it could just be the light.
After a cursory examination, Kruddo realises why the Mule was left behind; the cavern exit this side is too small for any large creature to pass through.
Leaving Meldo behind, the adventures press on.
The narrow passageway slopes steeply down at this point but then widens and flattens out about an hour later.
There are several smaller tunnels leading off the main one, but Wer has no desire to explore them on her own.
The small group continues down the wider passageway.
They travel on for another two days.
(Any rations? Ask Sven!)
Despite posting guards at night you encounter nothing but a few strange looking/sounding bugs.
The next day the tunnel starts to open out and signs of stone working can be seen.
A few hours later you come to a proper passageway. The walls and floor are not remotely perpendicular though. Kruddo is actually offended by it. Although the masonry work shows some skill, it lacks patience and planning.
The long corridor ends with a large but plain stone door.
It has a small ‘hatch’ in the upper part and a large metal knocker around three feet from the floor.
There are no visible hinges or lock mechanism on this side of it.
The hatch is about seven feet above the floor and firmly shut.

What do you do?

1) Any equipment taken from Meldo will add to individual encumbrance!

2) Two more rations (If you have them) are gone per person including the dog but not the snake.

3) If you do not have any rations left, you start to starve!

The Cavern of Watery Doom

The Orc’s laughter rings in Bodush’s ears. He represses the urge to blast them to bits and instead turns towards the darkness.
Kruddo is obviously in his element here, but Wer and her dog look nervous.
Budush doesn’t have any spells to illuminate the darkness, but plenty of oil.
This is fortunate, as Wer appears to have none.
As Bodush can only guess how long they’re going to have to stay underground he decides to ration the supply.
Figuring he has enough oil to light his lantern for about twenty-four hours, he allows the smug dwarf to lead them, but counts more on his familiar.
Bodush is impressed with this clever little fellow. Even he was startled when the tiny viper first whispered in his ear.
Letting it scout slightly ahead, it uses its abilities to scent for danger.
Gajarpan is happy enough in the darkness and finds the abundant insect life quite nutritious.
Bodush curses though as 'only' he bangs his head on the low hanging rocks.
“Sorry!” mumbles Kruddo. “I forgot you’re a stringbean.”
Bodush curses again as he hears Wer chuckling in the darkness.
They walk for hours. Maybe a day, it’s hard to tell the passing of time down here.
The adventures rest for a while and Bodush uses up four hours of oil during his watch.
Another ‘day’ passes and they rest again.
Despite posting guards at ‘night’, nothing happens.
Wer is concerned that they are losing ground on their friends.
About halfway through the third ‘day’, Kruddo whispers for everyone to halt.
Bodush lights his lantern and gazes into an enormous open cavern.
It’s truly vast and after a brief ‘shore’ it is completely filled with water.
It has a shore of ‘sand’ for about twenty feet and then stretches out into watery darkness.
Bodush holds his lantern out but the light fails to penitrate far into the darkness.
Even Kruddo can’t see to the other bank.
The water is ice cold and deathly still.

If you want to go forward, you have to get over this underground lake.
How are you going to do it?

Kruddo, Bodush, Wer and Masienta have used up all their rations the Gnomes gave them. If you didn’t have any extra, you are all a little nervous.

Bodush has used up nine hours of oil.


Monday, April 21, 2008

The Third Voyage of Mendez

They are almost half way home when Mendez starts to get cold feet.
Perhaps his Father will still be angry?
Altering their course slightly, Mendez secretly extends their journey time.
Landing on another of the small islands, Mendez and the Hamsters are surprised by a huge creature in the likeness of a man but black of colour with a single eye and teeth like boar's tusks. The creature drives them into a small cave.
It then rolls a huge bolder to block the entrance.
Mendez hurls himself against the barrier to no avail.
The next morning, this monster rolls back the bolder, reaches into the cave and pulls out the fattest of the squealing Hamsters. To everyone’s horror, the poor Hamster is immediately skewered alive and roasted over a fire. The foul creature eats the blackened Hamster in front of the others and laughs.
The giant then lazily pushes the bolder back in place, but Mendez cleverly stops in closing completely with his metal shield.
The Giant fails to notice his mistake and is fast asleep in moments.
Mendez has to strip naked and lather himself up with his soap, before he can squeeze through the gap.
Stealing up behind the monster, Mendez silently takes out one of the red-hot iron spits from the fire and then drives it deep into the monster’s single eye!
The creature wakes screaming and flounders about, but it can do nothing to prevent Mendez from taking it's treasure, freeing the remaining crewmen and escaping aboard the Sky-ship.

I Attack the Darkness

The cave mouth is large and the floor even. It leads slightly downward and curves around, following paths of innate weakness in the stone structure.
It is pitch black however. Kruddo the Dwarf can see fine but Wer and Bodush are effectively blind.
The Orcs snigger at you as you fumble in the darkness.
“Good luck.” They chuckle and they turn to leave.

What do you do?
You’ve been travelling three days now. The Gnomes gave you five rations when you left but Grimes the giant gave you nothing.
How are you going to see? You will be underground for many days.

Bodush also realises that 'Grimes' didn't remove his helmet during their conversation.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Second Voyage of Mendez

After a few more days airbourne, Mendez spots a tiny island ‘sparkling’ below and orders the Hamsters to set down.
He takes a few of the Hamster crew with him to find out what it was that shone so.
Unfortunately the ground is treacherous and they tumble down into an inaccessible valley carpeted with diamonds!
Mendez instructs his crewmates to gather up as many as they can carry when a giant snake slithers into view.
Drawing his sword, Mendez prepares to give his life in defence of the harmless Hamsters, when suddenly a gigantic Roc swoops down and kills it.
Thinking fast, Mendez grips onto the carcass and holds on tight as the huge bird carries it out of the valley and back to its nest. As soon as it lands, Mendez rolls out from underneath the snake and runs as fast as he can back to the Sky-ship.
Quickly organising his crew, they float above the valley and lower ropes to their companions.
Once back on the deck the rescued Hamsters shake a fortune of diamonds out of their fur.
Mendez smiles broadly and declares; "Why aren't all days as profitable as this?".

Why Now, Black and White Cow?

While Bodush is shouting at the Orc guards atop the tall barricade, Kruddo looks up at the rest of his friends, high up the mountain path.
The Dwarven Barbarian; Durin, Thesis, the erratic Human Warrior, Telfis, the young, Human pick-pocket, Eolar the demi-Elf and… some Human female pulling Eolar’s ridiculous Mule. There also seems to be two Orcs with them as well pulling a… cow?
Tracing the path, Kruddo can see that they are heading for the cave mouth about two-thirds the way up.
It would be an easily trek from beyond the Orcan barrier, but they could make it up from here if they’re prepared for a bit of climbing.
Assuming the Orcs wouldn’t pursue them, they would only be about a day behind.
If Wer flew, she could catch them in just a few hours.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Thoughts of a Mule

It felt quite nice without all the stuff on the back. Everything was so .... light. But now the two-legged creatures were gone and with them the one who always guided him to the nice places that had tasty chewable stuff on the ground, Meldo felt a bit bored. It was quite dark since the others left because they took the glowing thing with them.
It was actually really dark! He was standing around for a while and waited for them to come back. Staring into the dark was boring.
Due to an absence of other distractions, Meldo started to smell around. He followed a scent a few steps and ran into a wall. After cursing for a while (i-aaaa, i-a, i-aaa) he concentrated on the smell again. It smelled wet, mouldy and boring. He looked around again. Still dark.
He turned a bit and slowly walked a few steps again. No wall. Another few steps. No wall but his hooves got wet. Another smell. Smelled like water, but with a strange side-smell to it. He remembered the other creature that was there. Shiny black and white colors to show off. He didn't like it! Grey was still his favourite colour. But the creature was gone. It was a bit behind the shaky thing they used to get over the lake. It was there for a while and then..... Meldo took a few, rather fast, steps backwards. Could explain the smell.
He turned again and took a few careful steps forward. There were a few things on the ground. He knew, because he stepped on them. He tried to eat one of them...wood! Buargh! Ah, another one...stone. Ouch! Nothing tasty! He smelled at every thing he stepped on...another wood, stone, stone....ouch! His head hurt!
He didn't like to be dragged around all the time by these two-legged ones (although he liked the one that he knew for ever. He always knew where the tasty stuff was!) but this was boring. He didn't like boring!
Another few steps, very, very careful this time. He stepped into something bigger. He smelled at it! It smelled like... like.... him?? He pushed his nose into it and it really smelled like him! An lots of other things. He tried to bite into it. Didn't taste good and was too leathery. But somewhere inside it smelled good.
After a few hours of trying, pushing, prodding and pulling, a few things rolled away. He followed them (because they smelled good) and bit into them.
Ah, finally!! The two-legged one was hiding tasty stuff for him! For hours, he chewed on one after the other! He felt quite good and the darkness was suddenly bearable.

(The party won't find Kruddo's 9 rations anymore and Eolar has to sort the stuff in the saddlebags again)

For those left behind

Bodush wakes with a start and instantly wishes he hadn’t.
The Devil’s brew is going to be the death of him. Maybe he should start experimenting with other forms of narcotic?
He gathers his clothes and wanders out of his billet half naked. It’s noon and his ‘friends’ and more importantly; the captured loot, are gone!
Shouting out their names, Bodush wanders from one Gnome abode to the next until eventually, Wer pops her head out of a window.
“What’s up stringbean?”
They both are having a hearty breakfast courtesy of the Gnomes when Kruddo walks into sight. He joins them for some food, but doesn’t get time to relax before all three of them are given a weeks supply of rations and they set off in pursuit.
Masienta proves her usefulness as she tracks the others at a reasonable speed.
After a few days, they get back to the valley of the Owlbear.
A tiny movement high up on the mountain catches Wer’s eye. What is that? People?
A sudden flash of bright red and white confirms her suspicions. “That’s Eolar up there. What’s the silly fool doing now?”
Just then they come within sight of a huge wall. It’s been made at the point of a natural narrowing of the valley. It’s crude but effective. Standing over 20’ high and made from thick tree trunks and boulders.
It would be relatively easy to climb over but you can see that it’s guarded by six Orcs. They shout when they see you; “Halt! Friend or Foe?”

What are you going to do?

No Wer to be seen

It’s very, early morning when the group of adventures prepare to set off.
They count their number.
Telfis and Thesis are there, as are the non-humans; Durin and Eolar.
Eolar has also acquired a protégé. Elogyn; another cleric of St Cuthbert.
If Eolar can hear the noise of Telfis’ teeth grinding, he ignores it.
Kruddo still hasn’t caught up to them despite weeks of searching.
Mendez had said his goodbyes and decided to return home on the Sky-ship.
That just leaves Bodush and Wer.
The group search the small Gnome Hamlet for a while, but can find no sign of the Sorcerer or the Halfling Druid.
“Too much time’s been wasted already.” mutters Eolar. “Time we got back to Seawell.”

The First Voyage of Mendez

After making a small fortune through adventuring, Mendez heads for home on the magnificent sky-ship to seek his Father’s forgiveness.
Unfortunately the ship lands on what appears to be an island, but instead proves to be a gigantic sea monster on which trees have taken root. On being disturbed, the creature dives into the depths, forcing the sky-ship to depart without Mendez.
Good fortune comes to his aid in the form of a passing barrel. Mendez survives for days thanks to his amazing endurance.
Eventually, he is washed ashore and is discovered by the ruling family. Mendez regales them with stories of his exploits and just a few days later the Hampsters rediscover him. Mendez is able to reclaim his cargo of precious gems and the ruling Lord’s daughter gives him a gift of a ‘kiss’ and a fine piece of jewellery before he leaves.


Sorry; still no level ups.

Thesis: 26,581 xp (7th Level: Fighter:6/Cleric:1)
Eolar: 24,930 xp (7th Level: Ranger:2/Cleric:5)
Telfis: 24,500xp (7th Level Rogue:5/Bard:2)
Durin: 19,793 xp (6th Level: Barbarian:6)
Elogyn: 11,411 xp (5th Level: Cleric:5)

Kruddo: 11,973 xp (5th Level: Fighter:5)
Mendez: 27,402 xp (7th Level: Ranger:3/Barbarian:2/Fighter:2)
Bodush: 22,441 xp (7th Level: Sorcerer:7)
Wer: 21,470 xp (7th Level: Druid:7)

Think this is right now... I'm a tiny bit drunk.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Character sheets!

I've already requested these, so please let me have them by today.
Paul was the first to provide his and therefore wins a 'kindness' prize next adventure.
I will provide a sliding scale of 'kindness' in order of returns.
Moritz is excluded from this as he's not playing on Tuesday. (I will expect it ASAP however.)
The last person to respond should not expect any 'kindness' from me. In fact probably the opposite!

The dungeon is half written.
(Hee hee, you're all going to die!)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Voyages of Mendez

Mendez smiles broadly as he waves to his friends far below.
They’re all staying in the Gnome hamlet for a few days before heading back to Seawell.
It’s odd that they didn’t ask for a lift in one of the fantastic ‘Sky-ships’. They could have easily fitted their cargo in the vast holds.
As it was, a simple request for a ride in the direction of his homeland was responded to with eager compliance, not for just as far as they were going, but a ‘to-the-door’ service. It’ll shorten his journey from months to less than a week.
Shinning up the rope, Mendez acrobatically flips over the safety rail.
Looking at the strange little Hamster creatures as they struggle with the controls, Mendez feels a wave of sympathy towards them. What real hope of survival do they have in the big wide world?
Perhaps his Father could help!
Striding across the deck, Mendez takes over the helm and spinning the wheel dramatically, he starts to sing... 'White grin brighter than big dipper. Mendez: playboy, starship skipper!

Monday, April 7, 2008


Ah!...Well you see, when the poet uses the term 'hoth en orqur' to denote the goblin horde in conjunction with the phrase'yeltien en ailoki', it is a clear reference to the famous 'Lay of Athelian' in which the main character tricks the dragon into larger and larger promises, clearly reflecting in how each stem increases in syllables, thus giving the listener the ability to experience the load of the new demands as the listener's mind has to accomodate a growing body of information. This is a technique that was first used only about three thousand years ago, and relates to the current events in the sense of....What are you saying?

Oh, what does it mean? Well, that is what I am trying to explain to you, you silly dwarf. The LITERAL meaning may be 'Bravely facing the goblin horde and the anger of the dragon', but that is not the DEEPER meaning of this poem. Obviously, you need to get acquainted with some of the principals of Late Conceptual Elvish Poetic Theory before you even bother to ask me that question. Sometimes, I swear, our art is wasted upon lesser races. I know you saved our outpost and killed the dragon and all, but please....show some respect for our art!

Elven gratitude is not without its perils. After having been treated to an inordinate amount of feasting, involving a variety of forest mushrooms, berries and interestingly flavoured root, coupled with (very) small slices of meat, the lethality of elven firewine becomes rather obvious to the party. It is a wonder and a testament to their resolve and cool under fire that they manage to respond to the 32 verse long tribute given to them in high elvish by the resident 'conceptual poet' of the elven outpost with nothing more violent than a gracious yawn. The hamsters on the other hand, are quite happy with the fare, having lived of cave mushrooms for the last few millennia, and their culinary horizons have been broadened dramatically in the space of a few hours. In fact, they manage to convince the high herbologist of the outpost to outfit them with maps detailing the presence of various mushrooms and plants, and decide to devote their lives to going off scouring the world for exotic berries and fruit. After some heated discussion, they decide to fly the party over to the gnomish hamlet the next morning

The return to the hamlet is awkward, to say the least. The hamsters expectations are high, and the disappointment crushing. The gnomes are as far away from being the mythic godlike beings that brought the fire of wisdom to their ancestors as could be possible. Still, the gnomes are grateful for their book, and treat the party to yet another celebration feast. The food is better the drink is quaffable, and the songs are of the '21 barrels of ale on the wall'-variety. The party once again bask in the adoration of the gnomes, and sing along happily.

The next morning, the hamsters prepare their ships for flight. The world outside of Mt. Snaefang beckons, and they have much work(and eating) ahead of them. Deciding to take to the skies once more, they bid the party farewell. As the ships are lifting their anchors, Mendez launches himself at one of the ropes, and stands on anchor as it is pulled up. Laughing and waving to the rest of the party, he draws his sword and points at the horizon.

As the ships disappear into the cloudy skies, the party swear that they hear Mendez' voice proudly ringing from above, 'Mendez: playboy, starship skipper!' before all is quiet again.

Perhaps a trip back to seawell to sell their stuff might be in order?

A new party member

Eolar looked out of the window where the sun slowly set. He was still sitting in the small elven tavern where he spent most of the day talking to Elogyn. They were speaking about the battle and news from other temples Elogyn had visited recently. Their conversation was only interrupted from time to time by the innkeeper, who was visibly exited to have one of the heroes in his tavern and insisted that all drinks are on the house.
They just finished talking about the aftermath of the fight at the old shrine when Elogyn suddenly offered a proposal:

"Oh heroic Eolar, let me follow you and be guided by you. Show me the ways of a great cleric and warrior. Let me travel with you and fight the cause with you!"

Eolar was surprised and felt honoured: "You want me to be your mentor? Are you not currently assigned to one?". It was common for clerics of St.Cuthbert to have a mentor, but Elogyns skills and clerical knowledge almost match his own. On the other hand, Elogyn was still of lower rank and therefore he would be entitled to mentor her. Elogyn, who could sense his hesitation continued "My old mentor was a scholar and because of his age was unable to travel. Whenever the head of our local church needed a messenger I applied for the job to get out of the library. After a while my mentor was reassigned to a new acolyte as I hardly was in anymore. I'm without mentor since and struggle to handle the world outside the church walls! To travel with such an experienced cleric like you would be a great learning experience for me and I would feel honoured!"

While she was talking, Eolar thought about the prospect of traveling with a fellow cleric. Finally he would be amongst somebody who shares the same faith. He hadn't been a residental cleric for a long time and it would be good to refresh some of his ritual and ceremonial knowledge which Elogyn seem to know a lot about. She would learn how to survive outside of cities how to deal with other races and creatures.

The innkeeper suddenly looked towards the door where a huge wolf entered the room. Some of the guests slowly vanished behind bits of furniture in their vicinity and all remaining eyes were focused on the door. An elven women followed the beast and looked around. To Elogyns surprise Eolar waved a hand to signal the newcomer. Shen-Shen came over followed by the wolf which sat down as soon as they reached the table.
After a disapproving look on Elogyn, Shen-Shen sat on the last remaining chair and turned towards Eolar. You said you need time to think! Did you decide? I just heard of another group of adventurers leaving the outpost today and I have an offer to join them!"
Eolar looked at Elogyn who was visibly scared by the wolf sitting next to her and smiled "Yes, I made my decision! You might remember my friend Elogyn here who came to the temple this morning? She is going to be my new protege and will join our group. So I won't need your services now. You are free to join the other group."

Elogyn gave him a surprised look which soon changed into a delighted one. She bowed her head and immediately continued watching the wolf next to her who didn't seem to take notice of her.
"Very well! If you think faith and prayer are more helpful in the wild than swords and a wolf...!" Shen-Shen got up , faced Eolar and bowed. "May your god protect you!", "He will! May St.Cuthbert also protect you on your journey! Godspeed!".
She turned round and left the tavern to the relief of most of the guests who didn't seem to feel comfortable in the presence of a wolf.

Eolar sat down and turned to Elogyn again "Well then, we better get going. We first have to inform the authorities of our decision and ask their approval. I saw another fellow cleric who is going to leave for Seawell tomorrow. I will give him a letter for the bishop. And then I have to introduce you to my companions!". He looked at her "....and we have to get you ready for adventuring!"

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Quantum Discharge

In the elven outpost the battle rages relentlessly. The various elven commanders are deploying their archers as best as they can but the sheer numbers of the attacking host seem overwhelming. Nariel slumps down next to a bucket of water that water runners have placed at certain intervals to allow the fighters to refresh themselves during the battle. The dragon is still spewing acid at the barricades and Nariel is not very optimistic about how much longer they will hold. He does not really believe that they will be overrun. But surely Elves will die and that is always a sad event. He sits there broodingly drinking his water when, in the corner of his eye, he notices one of the human visitors that were caught within the outpost when the enemy army attacked slowly walking over to him. Normally he would not pay him any attention but the man looks strange. He looks old and somewhat disheveled and his eyes are very strange indeed. He has a vacant stare, as if he were sleeping with his eyes open.
The old man reaches Nariel, and, with considerable aplomb in the midst of battle, he starts to speak. He speaks in a hoarse but surprisingly melodic voice. And what he says is this:

A moment's time, my unknown friend
for there's a story to amend
of one unmentioned but well-known
and crucial too, as will be shown

The old man falters shortly, seeming momentarily lost. He looks at the sweating and bloodstained Nariel but then continues as if he had never stopped.

though I see you're quite distracted
there's a reason why I acted
the reason being, I predict
you'll get your elven asses kicked

ah! -
He holds up a stalling hand when Nariel shoots him an angry glance at this outrageous statement.
no longer sullen, pensive!
He waggles his index finger in reprimand.
no time to get defensive

you must know that help is near
an airborne ghost but do not fear

if you see such apparition
don't give in to superstition
just goggle skywards, be so bold
out of the mist, lo and behold

the missing member of the crew
with pristine shirt, but not a clue
white grin brighter than big dipper
Mendez: playboy, starship skipper

The old man smiles, immensely pleased with himself. Then, suddenly and without warning he collapses like a puppet that has its strings cut. Nariel stands transfixed in bewilderment. He looks at the old man on the ground. The back of the old man's head is completely smashed. Blood and brain tissue slowly seep out of a gaping hole. Nariel, still in silent stupefaction, shakes his head. And turns his gaze towards the barricade. And upwards. On the horizon he sees a tiny speck of black. And another one. More dragons? No. It does not look like dragons. Starship skipper...

2426 years, 4 months, 12 days ago - Late afternoon

Grumble Starseeker, high artificier of the Exile Experimental Astronomy guild was having a good day. Not only had his eager apprentices outdone themselves with their publicity for their special event, and managed to get every single exile in the mountain to brave the outdoors for it, their calculations had actually been spot on. Grumble made a note to reward the new cognifier operating assistant, she had actually managed to predict a full solar eclipse to the closest second. Very impressive indeed.

Also, the rest of the team should be rewarded for their wonderfully aggressive flyposting campaign. He could hear the hushed excitement in the voices of his fellow gnomes as they saw the light return to the world as the sun came out from the disc of the moon, the spring heat returning with it.

Grumble took a look back at the normally smug artificiers from the G M-C-o-o-D I group, nodding to themselves, obviously impressed. For once, their crazy clockwork men and remote controlled owlbears weren't getting all the attention. Their rivals in the G N-M-C-o-o-D I group seemed equally impressed.

No wonder, after all, could a hamster picking up your slippers and bringing you a pipe ever be a match for the glories of the firmament, no matter how well trained? Grumble took a final look at the crowd, savouring the admiration from the assembled, technicians, administrators, janitors, scientists, security systems operators and fellow astronomers, before he made his way back to the entrance, with what he hoped was a suitably regal gesture.

With some disapproval, he noticed a look of hesitation on the faces of some of the lower-class gnomes, particularly amongst the security system operators, as he solemnly made his way back to the columns, to shouts of what assumed must be adulation from the crowd.

Grumble Starseeker was hit by 3 arcs of electricity simultaneously. The crowd gasped in horror as his charred remains slumped down, leaving only a trail of smoke rising up to the clear blue sky.

How were they going to get back in now?

Friday, April 4, 2008


The great traveler Palin is reputed to be the only man ever to travel all over this vast continent. From lizard infested swamp to icy-cold mountain, from the desolate heat of the Furnace coast to the lost city in the clouds. Among the treasures in the library of the gnomes, the party came away with what is probably the only comprehensive map of the region, draw my the great Palin himself.

It is reproduced for you here, with a few extra hasty-scribblings indicating some of the party's recent travels. Have a look for the link on the right:

Greed and Darkness

“He wants us to build him what?” The small, twisted figure yells at his subordinate in the poorly lit room. “Impossible.”
But then after an intense, whispered conversation; “He wants to pay me how much?!”
There is silence and then, “We’ll try. Take his gold and set to work. I suppose if we apply ourselves; it’s possible.”
The subordinate scurries off into the darkness and starts his macabre experiments.
Life is pretty cheap to these people.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Down in the Valley of the Surprisingly Jolly Green Giant

Grimes the Hill Giant, dressed in his new green armour, strides across the valley.
His fears that the psychotic Gnomes and their mercenaries would pursue them back to the Orc camp and kill-them-all-in-their-sleep, had been thankfully unfounded.
Ironically, it had been that near-death experience that had led to his increased mental aptitude and subsequent leadership of, what was left of Calvera’s War caravan.
Without the foul presence of the fierce Owl bear, normal bears had started to return to the valley. Perfect pets for the huge Grimes. His training methods were brutal but effective. Being repeatedly hit with a big stick tends to enforce co-operation.
The Ogres had stuck with him, a few Worgs and several dozen Orcs without leadership followed him too. Add to this the harem girls, the Orc children and treasure; he’d inherited quite a legacy.
His first decision was to reinforce his control of the Valley. He moved the wagons to the centre of the Valley and with felled trees and huge boulders; he'd created crude walls with study gates at either end.
As soon as they were in place, he declared himself ‘Lord of the Valley’ with all creatures who would declare their loyalty to him; welcome.
He had made allies too. The Human Bailey was supplying his men with drugs in exchange for the loan of a few of his Orc warriors AND he had made contact with some of the underground denizens of the mountain itself.
Creatures that could turn out to be very useful indeed.