Friday, April 30, 2010

Survival of the Fattest

Roly sneaks a peak through his fingers. The psychopathic tiny man has disapeared and all his children appear unharmed.
Looking around himself he sees the carnage of the furious but short lived battle.
Every single one of his ‘rescuers’ lie dead or dying.
He feels mixed emotions. He actually liked the Dwarf and the Were-bear and he felt a debt to the teenage Sorcerer. Ashamedly though, he's glad that the Elven Cleric Eolar was killed.
He spies Mendez craddling the massive Lizard-man Thesis in his arms. It looks like he’s trying to bind his equally massive wounds.
As quietly as possible, Roly ushers the boys, girls and Siren children back to the gate.
He is grateful when the two servants open it without fuss.
Without a backward glance at the mansion, wagons or treasure, Roly wobbles away back towards the city of Shalalah as fast as he can.
Reassured by the weight of the bulging purses on his belt, the multiple necklaces, broaches, bangles and the rings on every finger, Roly knows that he’ll have enough money to ensure a comfortable living for himself and a future for all of his charges.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Buried in Experience

After two years of giving the Party soft encounters I finally pitched an equal force at you.
We can pull apart the encounter later but I think our arrogance was our undoing.
Despite knowing that Estaban was prepared the Party still just ran around individually and hit separate targets.
Eolar actually did more harm to his own Party than the enemy!
Only Mara’ch showed any trace of self-preservation and so unsurprisingly he was the only one to survive.

The final scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 18: 153,026xp (Guilt ridden)
Eolar: Level 17: 147,998xp (Dead)
Thesis: Level 17: 143,195xp (KO’d but saved by Mendez and the Lizard lady)
Chen: Level 16: 127,436xp (Plotting against the Dragon)
Bodush: Level 16: 120,199xp (Dead)
Durin: Level 14: 105,213xp (Dead)
Wer: Level 14: 102,312xp (Plotting against the Pit fiend)
Hawkmoon: Level 14: 93,396xp (Guilt free)
Mara’ch: Level 14: 93,199xp (Still plotting how to get the diamonds back)
Ragnar: Level 13: 86,420xp (Dead)
Elogyn: Level 12: 74,556 xp (Saving the world regardless of if you want her to or not)
Ned: Level 6: 19,264 xp (Married and happy)
Kruddo: Level 6: 17,668 xp (Went back to the family mining business)

The Speed of Fought

Happily Bodush and Eolar walk through the open gates into the courtyard of Estaban’s mansion.
There are many guards, but that’s to be expected, as they’ll be needed to protect the diamonds.
Thesis and Durin seem still baffled by their companions generosity but still follow them into the walled off courtyard.
Hawkmoon enters behind them but moves around unnoticed to the other side of the walled in area.
Mara’ch, still disguised as one of the children, enters with the entourage that the Party have accompanied or collected along their journey.
Ragnar, the surviving four sailors, the two Hamster-men, Roly and his adopted children, the Lizard-folk slaves and the Siren children.
Waiting by the far gate, Estaban calls out, “Welcome friends. Leave all of the diamonds by the fountain”.
It’s then that the Party notice Mendez and his brothers lining the walls. These walls aren’t particularly tall. 10’ at their lowest, 20’ at their highest.
The Party notices Mendez because he calls out through gritted teeth, “Half! Half is fair. My friends deserve somethi”.
Unfortunately he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before being interrupted by Bodush’s gasp of surprise as an arrow fired by Hawkmoon glances off the back of his head. Luckily this is due to the protection of the ‘Stone skin’ spell that was still in effect from the previous battle.
Suddenly Eolar and Bodush find themselves free from Estaban’s enchantment.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Last Moments

Estaban strides out of his study to find Mendoza waiting for him.
“The diamonds are just hours away little brother. Is everything prepared?”
Mendoza mumbles in response.
“Yes Estaban. Everything is how you wanted it.”
“And the men?”
“Yes Estaban. The men will be waiting at the dock.”
“Excellent. Good work Mendoza.”
With that Estaban turns and walks off down the corridor, leaving the despondent Mendoza alone with his guilt.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Yet another diary excerpt from Bodush' Infernal(Linguistically speaking) Diary

Dear Diary,

This philantrophy is a funny business. I must admit that I have at times questioned my judgement in leaping to the aid of Mendez' father in his, what I suspect(although my drunkenness on that has clouded my memory), quite dire financial circumstances. Hopefully the sacrifices that we( but mainly the sailors and the hamsters) made will allow him to keep his mansion, his servants, his stables and his luxurious lifestyle. Still, this whole adventure is making it painfully clear that my time in this group should come to an end. Even if we discount the whole Pit Fiend/Dragon debacle, I do feel as if our impact as a group has been a rather negative one on the world as a whole.

Our unilateral interventions in various conflicts have had unforeseen consequences that have come back to haunt us. Even such a semmingly innocent endeavour as defending a gnomish village against orc raiders led to an upset in the local powerstructure that left an entire region at the mercy of the whims of a giant warlord. I hope that region appreciates what we had to do to rectify that situation.

On the other hand, our current quest has done some good. Roly and his charges will soon be safe in civilisation, and we will finally have the chance to show Mendez that despite his incessant self-aggrandizing tales, we do seem him as a worthy member of our group. Still, I am getting more and more uncomfortable with my place in the group and the consequences of our actions. I think I will seriously consider the offer I have had from Szandor.

Anyway, I have to go. My fellow travellers are concocting another crazy plot to extract liquour from a Magnificent Mansion on board a moving ship. I can't wait to get back Esteban.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Worst Father Ever!

No not Estaban...
It's my Boy's birthday on Tuesday.
Game date change to Wednesday 28th.
I hope no-one minds and everyone can make it.
Please, please. Pretty please.
So sorry.
Everyone make it and I promise this'll be the last session of this adventure.
I'll also bring jelly snakes as well as the beer.
Oh and sorry!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Babies on the Boat go Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa

The journey back is surprisingly uneventful. This is lucky because there’s scarcely room to swing Hawkmoon’s cat.

The Elven Box-Ship contains:

Thesis the hulking Lizard-man.

The two Lizard-folk slaves.

Durin the stout Dwarf.

Eolar the tall Half Elf.

The (thankfully) human sized Ragnar.

Bodush the Sorcerer.

Gajapan the tiny viper.

Mara’ch the slightly larger Kobold.

And his unnamed rat.

Hawkmoon the Elven Archer.

Rou the cat.

Roly (the annoyingly obese) cleric.

The two Hamster-men.

The four Sailors.

The three boys.

The four girls.

The three Siren children.

A Riding horse.

And last but not least: Meldo the donkey.

A total of thirty-one creatures in a ship designed to hold fifteen.
Still if you get hungry…

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Volcanic ash stops play

As Sven is stuck somewhere is Europe and Moritz is sticking around in England for an extra week, tonight's game is cancelled...
Unless Assif, Scott, Josh and Moritz fancy a game today AND next week
If not, see you boys next week.

Monday, April 12, 2010

New Banner: Wham, Bam, Thank you mam!

We move from defenceless beauties engaged in lovemaking murdered without a thought to a much more significant battle.

The Hag laid in wait for us to return and threw trolls, elementals and magic at us.
The party though were rather more troubled by the presence of a few unlocked doors.

Having barged down door after door the Hag was at our mercy, but she most definitely still had the upper hand - Multiple Mirror Images, Mage Armour and a slew of spells ready to discharge.

That is when we showed our true strength as a party:
Wham! Dispel Magic - Roll 18, 20, 20 - all defences down!
Bam! Feeble Mind - now uncapable of casting more
Thank You Mam! Cut to pieces by Sword and Claw!

As powerful as we may seem right now, I can guarantee it is all Hubris - just wait till the next session ....

Boxy but Good

The magical Elven box-ship is considerably smaller than the Gnomish Sky-ship but it can just about support the sailors, the Hamster-men, the adventurers and the assorted rescued refugees.
All eyes are on the sea for several days, but everyone relaxes when they realise that the dreaded Kraken won’t be resurfacing again.
Days turn into weeks but eventually the surviving Sailors inform you that Shalalah is only a few more days away…

Friday, April 9, 2010


Ragnar, Thesis and Durin struggle for a while to free the magical ship from the rocks.
It’s only when its free and everyone’s onboard that Bodush finally reappears.
He can’t help but smile as he asks, ‘Why didn’t you just turn it back into its box form?’
The group decision is to take the two Lizard people and the three innocent Siren children with them.
Only Eolar seemed to have any objections.
Although the Siren children are scared, Roly is happy to take responsibility for them. The two Lizard people are also glad to help keep them calm.
When Roly hears of Eolar’s desire to kill them, it just confirms his low opinion of the Elven St Cuthbertian.

Salve Nauta Interruptus

Standing on the rocky island, Durin looks around at the bedraggled band.
Something’s wrong.
Someone’s missing.
Slapping his hand to his forehead, he signals Ragnar and dives back into the water filled passageway.
Ragnar looks confused for a moment but then realisation dawns and he also dives into the natural well.
They both take the third tunnel and after about half a minute surface in the air filled cavern.
It’s filled with a soft light and softer furnishings: Fur rugs and silk cushions.
It also contains the bodies of three of the slain Sirens plus (the very much alive) fat Cleric Roly and the four (now dressed) Sailors.
Roly seems happy to see them but the Sailors are looking a bit miffed.
‘They were so beautiful. Why did you have to kill them?’
Despite this they’re all glad when Ragnar and Durin carry them back up to the surface.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Alternative Alignments

After the last email, I thought about what are Party would be if we used a combination of traditional and personality based alignments…

Mendez: Flamboyant Good
Thesis: Chaotic Selfish
Eolar: Lawful Rigid
Durin: Erratic Good
Hawkmoon: Cynical Neutral
Bodush: ‘I swear I’m Neutral’ Evil
Mara’ch: True Newt-ral
Ragnar: Awful Hairy.


Delving Deep for Experience

Good fun but not the toughest of opponents.
(You did manage to evade the Kraken again AND get an Elder Wind Elemental to 'blow' you though.)
Only Durin managed to level up…
Sorry Mara’ch.

The current scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 17: 149,616xp
Eolar: Level 17: 147,998xp
Thesis: Level 17: 140,095xp
Bodush: Level 16: 120,199xp
Durin: Level 14: 105,213xp (Goes up to 15th level!)
Hawkmoon: Level 14: 93,396xp
Mara’ch: Level 13: 90,499xp
Ragnar: Level 13: 86,420xp

No one's changed positions despite Bodush's repeated absences.

Hag’s Swag

Mara’ch and Hawkmoon swim to the treasure room and open up the door with the keys found on the old Hag’s dead body.
The room is wide but the ceiling is low. Both adventures are slightly built and the blue kobold has magically shrunken himself.
Still this room gives them a claustrophobic feeling.
The treasure litters the floor in piles but just as Mara’ch reaches for some an eel like creature shots out from its hiding place!
Mara’ch feels a shock of electricity shoot through him but before he can even register it, the eel is gone.
Realising that this might be a problem, Hawkmoon and Mara’ch wait for the others to deal with the annoying eels...

Treasure from the treasure room:

29 gems
A pearl encrusted comb
A crystal hourglass
A golden cup.

Treasure from the dead Sirens

19 Javelins
8 gems
8 golden tiaras.

Treasure from the dead Hag

A Crystal bowl
A jet-black amulet
3 gems

And a Spell book:

1st) Shield / Feather Fall / Obscuring Mist / Magic Missile / Sleep

2nd) Protection from Arrows / Mirror Image / Blindness / Gust of Wind / Continual Flame

3rd) Lightning Bolt / Water Breathing / Clairvoyance

4th) Ice Wall / Invisibility (Greater)

All Hail the Lizard King!

Easily breaking the chains that bound the disconcertingly attractive Lizard woman to the wall, Thesis swims back up with her through the tunnels to the surface.
Making their way back to the magical boat the Lizard woman asks Thesis the same question he had heard from the male Durin had rescued earlier.
‘Forgive me Sire, but may I ask what clan you are from?’
Thesis isn’t sure why, but he answers truthfully this time.
‘I was not born a Lizard man but instead reborn as one after dying in battle.’
On hearing this, the Lizard woman falls to her knees and bows low.
‘My King, you have returned to us!’

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Silent Siren

Free of her pursuers, the last surviving Siren casts about for someway to protect herself.
These beasts may have killed her sisters but their deaths will not go unavenged!

Sleeping with the Fishes

Lurking under the water, the Sea Hag waits for what can only be the final encounter.
She had grossly misjudged the strength of the adventurers. The Elven Cleric had somehow managed to resist the song of her ‘daughters’ and blasted her precious plans apart.
Many of her daughters are dead and despite being air-breathers, the adventurers have pursued her into the underwater caves.
Still, she can’t leave, so it’s going to be a fight to the death.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Most Interesting DM Ever!

Mendez, Draw back your Bow

Estaban gestures to the silk covered couch.
‘Sit down my son and I’ll try to explain. I’ve made a few ‘mistakes’ recently and now find myself owing some very dangerous ‘people’ a great deal of money. I’ve sold most everything I have but it’s not enough. I need those diamonds.’
Mendez looks at his Father, as if for the first time.
‘I would have helped you gladly. I have more money then I know what to do with.’
Pride glowing from his face, Estaban responds sadly.
‘It wouldn’t be enough. I need those diamonds!’
Mendez shakes his head.
‘My friends will kill you. Despite your skills, you’re not powerful enough to stop them and I can’t help you. They’re my friends. I owe Bodush and Eolar my very life!’
Estaban starts to scowl.
‘I’m sure you’ve repaid that debt a hundred times. You will stand by your family. You will do as I tell you!’
Mendez springs back to his feet.
Estaban takes a step back and smiles. His voice rich and deep, he soothes his son…

‘Mendez, you’ll take out your bow,
and you’ll let your arrows flow,
straight to your companion’s hearts for me.
Mendez, hear now my cry,
you'll let your arrows fly,
at anyone who attacks your family.’