No Holds Bard

Three weeks ago…

Hawkmoon is searching idly for more diamonds when he hears a noise nearby…

“Are you alone?”

Looking around, Hawkmoon can see no one but knows Estaban’s tricks well enough to recognise this as being one of his.
Durin’s in sight but too far away to hear anything.

“What do you want Estaban?”

“I need to hear your report. I need to know the strengths and weaknesses of your travelling companions. Their favoured spells and tactics. Their vulnerabilities and defensive shortcomings. Everything I need to know to defeat them when the time comes!”

Hawkmoon sighs and, while making sure he’s out of sight, tells Estaban everything he wants to hear.

“Very well - though I don't approve of your underhand tactics to influence the others. Am I not insurance enough?
Overall the Party are a disparate bunch. Different aims and goals. They don't act together, but somehow manage to salvage most situations. Usually through the use of powerful magics.

Bodush should probably be your first target. His firepower is unprecedented, but catch him early on and he would be an easy target.
After a few seconds, though, beware. He will fly, become invisible and also likely create a number of fake images to confuse your archers.
There's even a chance that he’ll pre-empt an attack and protect himself in advance.

The Werebear is nothing special in his human guise, but beware him once he changes. He becomes extremely strong. I would suggest avoiding melee with him if you can.

Next you may wish to focus on Thesis: the lizard-man. He and the Dwarf are both good close combatants, but the lizard has the slight edge. Being a barbarian, Durin's tactics are often baffling but once stuck in a combat he will quickly become angry and become a whirling dervish of axe! Be prepared for healing against these two. Split them up; Divide and conquer.

The pedantic Cleric: Eolar is more an annoyance than anything. He’s self serving and almost as shambolic in combat as the Dwarf. He will probably be called on to heal the others, but instead will try to damage you himself! He may call down the fury of his God, but catch him in melee and he will drop quickly.

Mara'ch, the new Kobold, is a tricky one. Keep your fighters away from him. He can't fight himself but is somehow able to sap the strength of others.
If you are looking for an easy kill, then shoot him. Be quick, though, as he will likely disappear like Bodush.

Use the element of surprise to your full advantage. Act quickly decisively. Concentrate your attacks against one target at a time.

I have no loyalty to these adventurers - but make no mistake. Turn on me as you would turn on them and I swear I will return from the very bowels of Hell to take my revenge upon you...”

There’s silence for a moment before Estaban speaks again.

“Good work Hawkmoon. You’ve confirmed my thoughts and given me everything I needed to know. When you arrive back here, do nothing until Bodush and Eolar have handed over the diamonds. No doubt my youngest son will try to speak up for his friends. As soon as he starts talking, shoot Bodush in the back.
As for me turning on you… save your oaths. A deal is a deal."

Survival of the Fattest

Roly sneaks a peak through his fingers. The psychopathic tiny man has disapeared and all his children appear unharmed.
Looking around himself he sees the carnage of the furious but short lived battle.
Every single one of his ‘rescuers’ lie dead or dying.
He feels mixed emotions. He actually liked the Dwarf and the Were-bear and he felt a debt to the teenage Sorcerer. Ashamedly though, he's glad that the Elven Cleric Eolar was killed.
He spies Mendez craddling the massive Lizard-man Thesis in his arms. It looks like he’s trying to bind his equally massive wounds.
As quietly as possible, Roly ushers the boys, girls and Siren children back to the gate.
He is grateful when the two servants open it without fuss.
Without a backward glance at the mansion, wagons or treasure, Roly wobbles away back towards the city of Shalalah as fast as he can.
Reassured by the weight of the bulging purses on his belt, the multiple necklaces, broaches, bangles and the rings on every finger, Roly knows that he’ll have enough money to ensure a comfortable living for himself and a future for all of his charges.

The Speed of Fought

Happily Bodush and Eolar walk through the open gates into the courtyard of Estaban’s mansion.
There are many guards, but that’s to be expected, as they’ll be needed to protect the diamonds.
Thesis and Durin seem still baffled by their companions generosity but still follow them into the walled off courtyard.
Hawkmoon enters behind them but moves around unnoticed to the other side of the walled in area.
Mara’ch, still disguised as one of the children, enters with the entourage that the Party have accompanied or collected along their journey.
Ragnar, the surviving four sailors, the two Hamster-men, Roly and his adopted children, the Lizard-folk slaves and the Siren children.
Waiting by the far gate, Estaban calls out, “Welcome friends. Leave all of the diamonds by the fountain”.
It’s then that the Party notice Mendez and his brothers lining the walls. These walls aren’t particularly tall. 10’ at their lowest, 20’ at their highest.
The Party notices Mendez because he calls out through gritted teeth, “Half! Half is fair. My friends deserve somethi”.
Unfortunately he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before being interrupted by Bodush’s gasp of surprise as an arrow fired by Hawkmoon glances off the back of his head. Luckily this is due to the protection of the ‘Stone skin’ spell that was still in effect from the previous battle.
Suddenly Eolar and Bodush find themselves free from Estaban’s enchantment.

Yet another diary excerpt from Bodush' Infernal(Linguistically speaking) Diary

Dear Diary,

This philantrophy is a funny business. I must admit that I have at times questioned my judgement in leaping to the aid of Mendez' father in his, what I suspect(although my drunkenness on that has clouded my memory), quite dire financial circumstances. Hopefully the sacrifices that we( but mainly the sailors and the hamsters) made will allow him to keep his mansion, his servants, his stables and his luxurious lifestyle. Still, this whole adventure is making it painfully clear that my time in this group should come to an end. Even if we discount the whole Pit Fiend/Dragon debacle, I do feel as if our impact as a group has been a rather negative one on the world as a whole.

Our unilateral interventions in various conflicts have had unforeseen consequences that have come back to haunt us. Even such a semmingly innocent endeavour as defending a gnomish village against orc raiders led to an upset in the local powerstructure that left an entire region at the mercy of the whims of a giant warlord. I hope that region appreciates what we had to do to rectify that situation.

On the other hand, our current quest has done some good. Roly and his charges will soon be safe in civilisation, and we will finally have the chance to show Mendez that despite his incessant self-aggrandizing tales, we do seem him as a worthy member of our group. Still, I am getting more and more uncomfortable with my place in the group and the consequences of our actions. I think I will seriously consider the offer I have had from Szandor.

Anyway, I have to go. My fellow travellers are concocting another crazy plot to extract liquour from a Magnificent Mansion on board a moving ship. I can't wait to get back Esteban.

The Babies on the Boat go Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa

The journey back is surprisingly uneventful. This is lucky because there’s scarcely room to swing Hawkmoon’s cat.

The Elven Box-Ship contains:

Thesis the hulking Lizard-man.

The two Lizard-folk slaves.

Durin the stout Dwarf.

Eolar the tall Half Elf.

The (thankfully) human sized Ragnar.

Bodush the Sorcerer.

Gajapan the tiny viper.

Mara’ch the slightly larger Kobold.

And his unnamed rat.

Hawkmoon the Elven Archer.

Rou the cat.

Roly (the annoyingly obese) cleric.

The two Hamster-men.

The four Sailors.

The three boys.

The four girls.

The three Siren children.

A Riding horse.

And last but not least: Meldo the donkey.

A total of thirty-one creatures in a ship designed to hold fifteen.
Still if you get hungry…

Evolar

Ragnar, Thesis and Durin struggle for a while to free the magical ship from the rocks.
It’s only when its free and everyone’s onboard that Bodush finally reappears.
He can’t help but smile as he asks, ‘Why didn’t you just turn it back into its box form?’
The group decision is to take the two Lizard people and the three innocent Siren children with them.
Only Eolar seemed to have any objections.
Although the Siren children are scared, Roly is happy to take responsibility for them. The two Lizard people are also glad to help keep them calm.
When Roly hears of Eolar’s desire to kill them, it just confirms his low opinion of the Elven St Cuthbertian.

Alternative Alignments

After the last email, I thought about what are Party would be if we used a combination of traditional and personality based alignments…

Mendez: Flamboyant Good
Thesis: Chaotic Selfish
Eolar: Lawful Rigid
Durin: Erratic Good
Hawkmoon: Cynical Neutral
Bodush: ‘I swear I’m Neutral’ Evil
Mara’ch: True Newt-ral
Ragnar: Awful Hairy.

:)

The Children are the Future

Roly gathers the seven remaining children around him. Despite the abundance of food and wine and the absolute safety of Bodush’s mansion, Roly doesn’t feel safe.
These adventurers seem oblivious to the suffering of others. Hawkmoon seems the coldest, treating the Hamster-men and Sailors as servants or worse.
Although the adventurers rescued all the children, other than poor Daniel, it seemed more out of challenge than concern.
Still the Were-bear, the Lizard-man and the Dwarf, did try to help.
Eolar the Half-Elf seems the most aloof. Roly has heard of St Cuthbert; He can even still remember the stories of its great navy from when he was a boy. They believe in order above all else. Order but not kindness.
Still the diamonds he’s found will partially make up for the loss of his treasure chests.
Rocking the little ones back and forth across his massive belly, Roly decides that he should stick to the Dwarf. Barbaric though he may be, at least he has a conscience.
He is also worried about the journey back to Shalalah. The Sorcerer’s spells leave him and the children unsettled and disorientated. It’s almost as if he is torn into strips while travelling through the nothingness.
The Kraken has been fed recently. Perhaps it’ll leave a ship alone?
If only they had one.

Bodush does some sums

Bodush counted the diamonds in his bag, if only he was stronger, then he could carry even more diamonds to help poor Esteban out with his financial troubles. Despite the lack of any altruistic impulse in how he had conducted his life in the past, he had to admit, the thought of helping out the family of his comrade in arms did give him a feeling of strange satisfaction. Perhaps it was this feeling that had sustained the unfortunate Lesyeux through her suffering and led her to her service of Pelor. While not necessarily something, he would do every day, helping others might be more appealing than he had previously thought.

Perhaps there was a way to get more diamonds to Esteban, as teleport thing was a bit too unreliable, and might lead to a loss of diamonds. If only he had a boat. Maybe the Giants could help him build one?

It’ll all End in Tears in the Fabric of Time and Space

Hawkmoon kicks at yet another diamond. How is it possible to be bored by such riches?
Still, all he wants is to go home. This mission has taken far too long.
Despite having training in the Eldritch arts, he feels nervous of Bodush’s ‘Teleport’ spell. He’s heard of terrible disasters befalling those who became over confident while using it.
Still he feels even more nervous of Eolar’s plan. The thought of travelling through the Plane of ‘Law’ makes him shudder.

Thank the (wrong) Gods!

Eolar, Ragnar, Hawkmoon and Durin finally reform from their gaseous forms and join Bodush, Thesis, Mara'ch and the others just inside the main wall of Ape city.
They are just discusiing what to do considering the deserted state of the city when a corpulent figure emerges from one of the buildings and waddles towards the newly arrived group.
“Pelor be praised, salvation is at hand!”
Though caked in dirt and looking like he hasn’t washed in years, Eolar easily recognises the vestments of a Cleric of Pelor.
He is leading eight smaller figures who turn out to be children. The eldest is a girl around eight, the youngest, a boy of four.
The fat priest looks at Eolar joyfully. “I’d almost lost my faith! How did you find us?”
The Cleric introduces himself as ‘Roly’ and though well into middle age, has a naïve look about him.
Perhaps it's the sight of the poor orphans that causes Bodush to surprise everyone by conjuring up a magical mansion, filled with delicious hot food and staffed by invisible servants.
Everyone soon forgets their immediate troubles and despite it still being early, they all relax in safety until the next morning.

Arcane Train vs. Divine Airways

Bodush takes in the ruined gate before leading his group through it and is unsurprised by what he sees.
The city has been brutally sacked. No people line the streets. No shopkeepers or city-guards.
No one.
Interestingly he sees no corpses or even bloody remains.
All any of them can see are the feral animals and the occasional rat.
Still, the carnivorous apes are over twenty miles away. Bodush can feel himself relax and his little companion ‘Gajarpan’ hisses contentedly.
By the time Eolar and his bunch of clouds arrive, Bodush’s team have found an empty guardhouse to camp in.
“What kept you?” asks Bodush sarcastically.
Annoyingly for Eolar, he can’t snap off a cutting retort while vaporous.

Train of Thought

Unfortunately as Bodush can’t actually see the city, he teleports everyone he has with him to the next best place.
There are shrieks from the sailors and a whimper from the Hamster-man as they find themselves on top of the giant Ape-head Mountain at the centre of the island.
They don’t have time to fall however before Bodush spots what he’s looking for and teleports them all to just outside the great gate of the city.
It’s only taken them about ten seconds to travel twenty-five miles!

Beaten by a Bunch of Damned Dirty Apes

Driven back by the baffling magics of the disgusting ugly man-things, the huge apes prepare themselves for another assault.
Disconcertingly though, the Party take this opportunity to make good their escape.
Eolar calls to the heavens and transforms himself, the massive Ragnar, Hawkmoon and Durin to smoke and they drift off into the air.
Bodush smirks to himself. “Only four?” he mutters under his breath.
Looking around he does a quick head count: Thesis, three sailors (two alive, one dead), and one of the freakish Hamster men.
He can do that. Just as he’s casting the spell however, the little blue Kobold, ‘Mara’ch’ sprints back into view from his hiding place.
Unable to take an extra person (regardless of his tiny size), Bodush is forced to abandon the dead sailor.
At least the apes won’t let his body go to waste.
With a flash of arcane light, they are gone.

Pellet of the Apes

Considering the standard of the opposition, the situation is actually quite grim.
The Party (Eolar, Thesis, Bodush, Durin, Hawkmoon, Mara’ch and Ragnar) have nursed the stricken Sky-ship to Ape island where it is currently beached.
They have moved inland into the jungle interior searching for any surviving crew-members (who bailed out using assorted two-floating or singular life saver balloons).
Hawkmoon used his arcane powers to discover the locations of a few of them and the Party have so far found three Human sailors and one of the Hamster men.
When they came to the fifth location, they found a ripped harness hanging from a tree and just as they were about to start searching they came under fire from at least a score of apes throwing rocks from the tree-tops.
Despite their crude tactics of whooping and throwing, the cover from the foliage and distance grants them quite an advantage.
Only Hawkmoon seems to be making it difficult for the apes so far.
Most everyone in the Party is injured and two of the Human sailors are unconscious or worse and so is the Hamster-man.
There is a city on the other side of the island but it’s at least 25 miles away!
Also, there are still 6 humans and 9 Hamster-men missing.

Current Hit points:

Mara'ch 37
Eolar 97
Thesis 171
Durin 154
Hawkmoon 61
Bodush 47
Ragnar 104


Initiative Order:

Bodush 23
Thesis 21
Fapes 21
Dapes 20
Napes 19
Mara'ch 19
Hawkmoon 14
Ragnar 14
Durin 7
Eolar 6

Good luck!

APEbble Problem

Bodush curses as he’s hit by another of the crude missiles.
How is it that mere animals have learnt this trick?
Straining to remember Mendez’ bragging tales of self-aggrandisement, Bodush seems to recall something about throwing rocks in return for fruit…

Eolaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Groaning softly as he comes around, the huge Ragnar rubs his temples.
He was sure he'd only drunk moderately...
Looking around he finds that he's somehow back on the Sky-ship. Staggering to his feet he leans over the side and can see an island pass by miles below. It's got a very strange looking mountain at its centre.
Slowly his memory returns to him...
A song...
An Island covered in diamonds...
Serpents!
His train of thought is interrupted however, by the Elf: Hawkmoon calling down from the rigging.
Is that a bird flying towards them?
No, it's too big to be a bird...
By the Mace of St Cuthbert, surely it's too massive even to fly?
Suddenly the air is rent with blasts of flame from the youthful Sorcerer and arrow after arrow zips through the sky, shot from Hawkmoon's magical bow.
Everything suddenly falls into chaos with the Sky-ship crew yelling instructions to each other,
Then, impossibly fast, the colossal creature is above them and it starts to slash and rend the fragile air-sacks over his head.
With a sickening crunch, the Sky-ship lurches sideways and down.
Ragnar's massive bulk works against him and he finds himself pitched sideways towards the side-rail.
He watches in dismay as the rigging proves just out of his reach.
For a dizzying moment Ragnar finds himself hovering in the air...
He's already calling Eolar's name when he starts to fall...

Puppet in the Sting

It’s been a week since the attack on his home and, while avoiding all shadows, Bodush has had plenty of time to think about the recent turn of events:
The corruption of Seawell.
The domination of Gom Dalat.
... And the destabilisation of Febril.
It’s almost as if he himself had been an instrument in Zatark’s infernal plot.
… Surely not?

The Brave and the Kobold

To gasps of awe and amazement, the vast Sky-ship descends into the still water at the city docks. It has been a week since Bodush’s mansion was attacked.
The Party organise their equipment and supplies to be sent and loaded to be ready for their early morning departure.
Much later, just after Midnight, a small dark shape scurries unseen through the darkness looking for escape.
The humans have an innate distrust for his kind and truth be told, he can’t blame them.
His eyes accustomed, as they are for working in the gloom, spot a ship oddly different from the rest. Unlike the others, it has a weird collection of giant air sacks floating above it instead of sails.
Too curious to resist, the scaly shape scrabbles up the side of the Sky-ship moored in the harbour and quickly finds somewhere to hide.

Cheketa tell me what’s wrong?

Two years ago...

The Derro peers down on the wretched Orc woman spread prostrate before him.
Her face stained with soot and tears, she begs the shrivelled albino for help.
“The adventurers pretended to be our friends. They broke bread with us and shared our wine…”
Her voice cracks for a moment before she continues.
“Their Sorcerer 'Bodush' was entertaining the children when they attacked. Our Warriors were drunk or unconscious. It wasn’t even a battle. They butchered everyone. The women, the children and all our men.”
Again she stops to cough some of the smoke from her lungs.
“They killed our giant leader and destroyed your golem. They burned everything to the ground!”
Savant Freud pulls himself to his full height as he strides across his desk.
“And what would you like me to do about it?”
With hatred shining from her eyes, Cheketa, the last surviving heir of Calvera, spits out the words.
“I want revenge!”
The twisted, bug-eyed Derro pauses for a moment as he considers the situation.
“Well that’s very tragic and everything, but what’s in it for us?”
Cheketa looks crestfallen.
“I… I’ve told you. All we have is the bodies of our dead husbands and children to grieve over.”
The Derro looks up excitedly.
“It’s a deal!”