Final Banner: The End

Oh my. Utter carnage.

Should we review what happened? OK, Lets:

Bodush and Eolar were under a gaes, and were compelled to return with the diamonds.
We all duely did the same (why?) and strolled into the killing-field courtyard.
Hawkmoon revealed himself as the spy and shot at Bodush, who survived thanks to stone-skin.
Bodush then took out Hawkmoon with a power-word stun.

Two more attacks took place, one from the halfling with his silversheen dagger against Ragnar and the other by the sailor-spy on Eolar.

All fine up to that point. We could even be said to be winning and Mendez was holding back on shooting anyone.

But then, it was up to us and frankly our decisions were poor in terms of who to attack.

The obvious candidates would have been the spy and the halfling.

Thesis and Durin chose neither. We did what we always say we shouldn't do but do anyway - split up.

Eolar's decision was possibly worse: let off an indiscriminate killing spell.

From there on in it was probably over, but, yet there were one or two more chances.

* Had Thesis acknowledged that Mendoza and the big guy had broken off and dropped back to aid the dying Eolar, that would have helped.
* Had Durin run across the wall he so incredibly lept upon earlier and engaged Mendez, that would certainly have helped.
* And, had someone (any of us) decided to stand with Bodush things would have been a lot different.

Clearly we could and should have played it differently, but would that have been enough to win? I'm not sure, there were a lot of brothers on the wall and Esteban was in full-rude health.
We may still have lost.
And in any case, there was a devil waiting for us inside. :P

What do you all think?

New Banner: Wham, Bam, Thank you mam!

We move from defenceless beauties engaged in lovemaking murdered without a thought to a much more significant battle.

The Hag laid in wait for us to return and threw trolls, elementals and magic at us.
The party though were rather more troubled by the presence of a few unlocked doors.

Having barged down door after door the Hag was at our mercy, but she most definitely still had the upper hand - Multiple Mirror Images, Mage Armour and a slew of spells ready to discharge.

That is when we showed our true strength as a party:
Wham! Dispel Magic - Roll 18, 20, 20 - all defences down!
Bam! Feeble Mind - now uncapable of casting more
Thank You Mam! Cut to pieces by Sword and Claw!

As powerful as we may seem right now, I can guarantee it is all Hubris - just wait till the next session ....

New Banner: We said Spank Us, not Kill Us!

Utterly gorgeous Sirenes with a craving for human flesh. But this time, they didn't want to eat, merely to have a taste. If we hadn't been greeted by a loathsome Hag and her Scrags, we might have just let the sailors have their way.

Instead carnage ensued.

The situation is not particularly good though. We have swum through a water tunnel to find ourselves in a water filled cavern faced by said Hag and Scrags. Rapidly running out of breath, I think this may go badly!

By the way, some of the funniest parts of the adventure were earlier when we got a rather annoyed Elder Air Elemental to "blow" us. Classic.

Kudos goes to Yousef for being cleverer than a room full of PhDs :)

New Banner: Knowing When To Stop

Oh brave valiant heroes ... not!

So, having masterfully executed a less than perfect plan and taken out all the male giants and any threat, we find ourselves again close to death through sheer stupidity.

The female Fomorians were ready to surrender and bow to our wishes, but we attacked them in their caves. Coming out in a rage they trampled all over us sending us scattering, but still they offered surrender.

Did we take it, no we didn't.

Ragnar chose mistook raised arms for menace and carried on with the attack.

Eventually, barely alive (especially Durin) we took their final surrender.

On the upside we got a magic boat and armfuls of fancy treasure and useful magic.

Onward to the conclusion of this Odyssey of Lunacy ...

New Banner: Those Colours Are Insane!

Ahh, the wonders of Prismatic Spray. Drove one of the giants completely nuts and made a lovely statue of a dog to remember us by.
Sadly though not enough damage was done by the many other beams and we find we have only killed one of the giants so far.

Following a neat if poorly executed plan we find ourselves ambushing a Troll-Giant stronghold. The Fiery Demon conjured by Eolar has been consumed. Great work from Bodush, Eolar, Hawkmoon and Marach so far, but next it will be the turn of the fighters. If only we can praise Ragnar away from the lady giant he is molesting ;)

Bring on the Wall! Sorry ... Giants!

[Edit: Eolar having conjured big beasties to battle giants and persuaded his pet bear ... sorry Ragnar ... to go fight the ladies, bravely placed himself out of harms way behind a shell of repulsion.

Nothing new there you might say, but the problem with this one is that his friends can't move back to him for healing either :(

Maybe he will unleash devastating divine fire from afar?]

New Banner: Under the Influence

The evil intentions of Esteban were felt heavily on the actions of the party this week. His bardic spell was over us all, but it was the veteran spellcasters, Eolar and Bodush, who most felt it's fell weight.

They were compelled to move with all haste onwards to Serpent Isle where diamonds were to be found scattered on the land, and a plan was hatched to get the party there swiftly.

Bodush would fly there and mark the landing spot, he would teleport back to the beach and then take as many of the party as possible to the isle. Eolar then cunningly commanded a sparrow to go to Bodush and followed the straight path he took.

All this to get to the island safely and start picking up diamonds - completely ignoring the gargantuan snakes with judicious use of filght, invisibilty and mage-hand.

But at what cost? It seems there was adventure, treasure and magic to be found with the giants. And, maybe most useful of all, a means to leave these islands and get back to Shalala.

It is almost as if the game finished with a screen that looked like this:

Level Complete
Kills: 2 of 18
Gold: 0 gp of 125,000 gp
Magic: 0 of 8
Secret locations: 2 of 7

New Banner: Between a Roc and Octoplace

A masterpiece of plot set-up placed the happless blundering fools in charge of a non-flying flying ship, under-staffed by fluffy hamsters and sailors and carrying a precious load of the last surviving children of the ape-city and their benevolent, corpulent and aptly-named protector Roly. Down in the hold was untold (un-examined!) riches in Roly's two massive treasure chests, one of which was graciously promissed as payment for safe passafe.

But, of course the job was by no means easy - the sea was supposedly populated by sea monsters and we already experienced the terror of the air. But, we had a map and a compass and set-off.

Spying two islands, we circled one in search of a landing space only to find the second island missing. An island-sized sea monster - surely not. But no sooner had we made the decision to land than we were attacked. Before we knew it the ship was bit in half and there were children falling into the sea as half of the ship raised into the air on the remaining balloons.

This time the adventures would not allow needless deaths and Durin lept in and proceeded to drown heroically. Thesis also jumped in, forgetting he had taken water-walk and hitting the glassy surface very hard indeed. Soon those with flight came to the rescue and the situation was under hand. Thesis running to the coast with 4 of the children, the others safe also.

Not a good time for the Roc to arrive then. But it did, all 700hp of it. Step-up Hawkmoon, Bodush and Mar'ach ably supported by Durin. Raining arrows of death, and maximised fireballs were to be expected, but the little blue kobold showed some of his power. Round after round he sapped the strength from the Roc and soon he was barely able to fly let alone attack.

The last we saw was the Roc plummeting like a flaming meteor into the gaping beak of the massive Kraken. Fried whole chicken for lunch with a human-child amuse-bouche.

Now, the party has no ship and is stranded on an island with some very, very angry Giants.

New Banner: Tempted by the forbidden hamster fruit

Luscious and succulent, the last surviving hamster-man dangles from the branches of the huge willow tree at the centre of the clearing. Eolar spies him and quickly goes to his aid. But he forgets the lesson given by Roly only minutes before. "Don't go in the clearings, on pain of DEATH!". But, when did death ever worry the mighty Eolar?

Miles from the other members of the party Eolar materialises and is immediately gripped by the many branches of the tree. Unable to do much more than destroy the odd branch he is dragged incessantly toward the gaping mouth. Death is certain, even the celestial bison can only hold out a short time.

But, incredibly, he turns insubstantial as a cloud once more and floats away in a wisp. Soon the rest are summoned and the hamster is quickly saved by judicious use of invisibilty, fly and teleport. The tree is quickly burned. And the party survive.

But, the question of how they are to get off the damned island is far from resolved. Can they survive the loss of 6 hamster men? Can the ship be repaired? Will it float let-alone fly? How do hamster men breed? Can the apes be taught to man a ship?

I guess we find out next time.

New Banner: Killer Gorilla

Reel them in Eolar and we'll knock them down.

A useful, if somewhat underhanded, use of a spell. Get the apes to do as you say, command them to come to their new master and then hack them down mercilessly. Nice.

Having conquered all of the visible threat, but knowing that this was just the very pate of the ape-headed mountain, we hastily moved on. (I think it might have had something to do with snow.)

Eolar and three others find themselves heading towards the city at an impressive speed in cloud form, only to be met by Bodush and the others who had teleported there, had a cup of tea and found somewhere to hole up.

Level up and find out why someone left the gate to the city open. And, by the way, where was our welcoming commitee??

New Banner: No Monkey Business

Kirk the killer DM once again taught us a lesson in using ordinary monsters to maximum effect.

I mean, how annoying is it that the apes should be 15 feet up in the trees, with cover, pelting us with stones. We can't get to them with swords and they are not nicely bunched for a fireball. Plus, we have no idea how many there are. Maybe we need a new strategy.

Having said that, put us in a seemingly impossible position with a ridiculously powerful single monster and we totally rule! A Roc with over 800hp stood no chance. Maybe he should have split up and hid in a tree ;)

Also, good to see Mara'ch and Ragnar making their first appearance :)

New Banner: A fleshy shambles

If ever proof was needed that healing should be a priority, then the senseless loss of two of our party provides it.

Having flushed out Tagati and his nefarious plans and dealt heroically with the monstrous creatures that were destroying the mines around the Yellow River, the adventurers were eager to return to normality.

Bodush teleported his friends to the security of his mansion where they would rest and recouperate. However, their plans were turned upside down when the past came back to bit Bodush and his happless friends.

Chekeeta the last progeny of Calvera whose tribe they had utterly destroyed in a series of battles and a shameful masacare, was waiting for them with cold revenge in her heart.

Unfortunately the party was ill prepared for the encounter and there were inevitable casualties. Durin in particular, still terribly injured after the fight with the stone golems only needed a couple of blows from the ogre skeleton before he succumbed. Elogyn's fate was less explicable. Not overly injured but too ready to face combat not suited for her she was curely cut down by undead and golems. Eolar could do nothing about it, his spells were not enough for the onslaught of enemies who kept appearing out of nowhere.

Bodush escaped with his life with only minor damage to his house. The house of Calvera on the otherhand had fought their final battle.

New Banner: Not fade away

In which we see the battle frozen in time.

Bodush's disintegrate might not be enough to have killed Tagati outright, but another blow and we are probably done. However, Tagati will get in at least one more spell and that might well be enough to put Bodush out of the game too. The Golems will fight on regardless and the bears will not last much longer. Will the returning Eolar change the balance?

I think in the end, there can only be one victor. Next time I DM, I won't be so kind!

New Banner: It's a gas, gas gas.

Our brave, intrepid adventurer's have found a new way to travel. Windwalking at up to 600ft a round (that's over 40mph!) while in gaseous form, protected from most blows and immune to poison. Able to get in past locked doors and mine collapses and able to change back and forth to corporeal form in less than a minute. Our adventures will certainly be different now!

Can you guess who is who though?

New Banner: You look like a Coatl, but you're a Naga in disguise

So, the stumpy winged Coatl was really a nasty human headed evil snake abomination that was bent on corrupting the god-fearing village of Pearlglen and sucking it dry.

Of course, your favourite band of deed-dooers were not to be fooled and soon revealed the Naga for what she was and defeated her and her puny entourage with some fines!

Mind you, much worse than the Naga (in terms of general evilness) was that little toe-rag of a gnome. What was his excuse? Torturing and maiming those lovely sylvan creatures and keeping their skins for what? A new coat? Sick man - deserved to die horribly - pinned to the wall through the heart by 4 of Mendez's arrows :)

Everyone fought well and bravely, with not a small amount of risk though. Early on it seemed that Bodush might die. Two-thirds of his hit-points gone in one blow and Thesis, possessed, poised behind him about to strike. Fortunately Thesis fought the domination and in the next moment the Naga was utterly destroyed by burst of awesome magic from Bodush.

In the funniest incident of the climactic battle, Thesis (Str 25) found himself out grappled by a gianormous Behir, flicked up into the air and swallowed whole! No sooner had that happend that Thesis clawed his way out of the belly of the beast to find the creature disintegrating around him, thanks once again to the magic of the sorcerer!

Fun and larks - Good job Scott :-D

New Banner: Shut that door!

Who opened that door?!

I can't believe we fell into Sven's carefully laid trap.

All the time I was thinking, "What's the worst that could happen? We might let a dragon into this world. Fine, no big deal." No-one expected a pit-fiend for chrisakes!!

The most annoying thing about the whole setup is clearly shown in Kirk's succinct banner. That is the Grey Elves and the Orcs acting in unison, as one. I just can't see how they would have come to collaborate let alone communicate via something other than arrows and swords. They certainly wouldn't talk to us!

Finally, I hope that this is not the final banner showing our fave characters alive. This one isn't finished just yet, let's see what those beings from the underworld have to say about our fate ...

New Banner: The shark has no chance!

Our esteemed DM is away but we have a little treat for you.

Eolar catches up with that wiley slippery fellow that used to hang around with our little group of adventurers: Telfis! An where do they find themselves? Swimming with the sharks. Eolar had better pray that Telfis can flank the beast and backstab it before it bites their heads off!

New Banner: Elves and Ogres

All got a little confusing last time out. We appear to be enemies with just about everyone except the Black-Cloaks and have the feeling that we may have got this entirely upside down!

In any case, just as before with the 50 x10th level Orcs, 4 Ogre Barbarians and an invisible Ogre Mage proved to be a small distraction for our awesome party. As were the 4 stealthy, skirmishing, 15th level uber scout elves.

But worryingly there is still the Orc army of 500 supported by druids and ogres and ....... the PRISMATIC WALL !!!!

The Greatest Banner ever Scrolled

I just realised that I have now made fifty banners!
(OK, I’ve lazily lashed up and copy/pasted fifty banners.)
Do we have any clear favourites?
My personal one is: Thesis being chopped in two by the two-headed, three-legged Giant.
(No offence.)

New Banner: Mass-orc-er!

Thanks to Kirk for the title pun and another of our Bayeux Tapestry style story banners.

This was perhaps our most successful single encounters. With just four adventurers running a protection detail through a mountain wilderness we encountered a massive force of elite orc soldiers. They were a good distance away and we had the advantage of high ground, but the level of the task became clear as soon as we (foolishly it seemed) launched a maximised fireball into their midst.

The fireball dealt 60 HP damage and not a single orc fell. They were also supported by 2 Wer like druidsin eagle form. Undeterred Mendez launched arrows, Bodush both fireballed and Magic-Missiled, Thesis took pot luck at one of the eagles from an unfeasible distance and Chen bided his time till they got a little closer.

Suffice to day the tide soon turned in our favour. Mendez and Bodush counted for over 30 of the orcs before they were even within a few hundred feet of our position, but the most incredible feat was still to come.

From over 500ft away, Thesis launched 3 arrows at one of the eagle-druids. The first had some chance of hitting, sure. But the other 2 would really only hit with a natural 20. Mendez was encouraging him saying "go for it - you never know!". Sure enough the first hit, but blinked into the ethereal plane. Then, Thesis rolled3 natural 20s in a row. Critical, plus another hit
! And the eagle was down!

From then on it was easy. Chen ran towards the orcs, but turned and waited for Thesis to catch. Between them they dealt with the few remaining orcs with Bodush seeing off the last druid and Mendez raining death on them all.

Fun, and 60,000XP :-D

New Banner: Saftey Inn Numbers

Having convinced our two charges that it was in their interest that they travel with each other we set off as a large, heavily armed party for the distant city of Gom Dulat. Conscious of our duty and the complaints of the fat-lady, we stuck to the Inns we found. This however scuppered most of Sven's carefully laid plans of ambush and wolves.

Nevertheless, we did get jumped on when finally we were convinced not to stay overnight in a nice safe building. Four 12 level rogues, in sexy forest green leotards. You'd think we'd be able to see them, but no, they could hide when only a few feet from our eyes.

Mendez, Thesis and Chen took the brunt of the hits while Wer did his usual summoning of large animals (in this case Dire Bears). Bodush immediately became invisible and flew into the air. So, risk appropriately apportioned, the grunts took severe damage, Wer deftly cast magic, and Bodush disintegrated everything in sight.

Easy victory, but I suppose we won't be able to expect too much niceness in the next part ;)

Incidentally, what/who are those Cloaked guys???