Waiting for Kruddo

There's slow, but this is ridiculous.
Even Moritz has given me his character sheet!
(Or his interpretation of one.)

An irresistible force and an immovable object cannot exit in the same universe.

Deep under the Derro halls, Thesis, Kruddo and the assorted bag of amputees huddle in the oasis of light coming from the single lantern.
From floor level comes Ortos’ gruff voice, “Well, what are you going to do?”
Thesis looks down at the truncated human and sighs. The injured Humans and Orcs won’t survive wading through the acid, but if they go back up, he and Kruddo might be killed… or worse!
Despite his warrior upbringing, Thesis has never felt comfortable with the whole ‘Dying in battle is glorious’ philosophy.
His thoughts are interrupted however by a dirty and hairy figure bursting through the doorway at the bottom of the stairwell.
“Durin!” bellows Kruddo. “Why are you here?”
Much to Thesis’ annoyance, the Dwarves chatter in Dwarvish and after a few minutes, Kruddo starts the long slog up the stairs.
“Where’s he going?” Thesis asks Durrin.
“It’s his turn.” Is Durrin’s blank faced reply.

Geno-cider with Grimesy

Shen-shen goes from fallen Orc to fallen Orc, driving the point of one of her swords into each one. All the while whispering curses under her breath.
There are bodies everywhere and the river is red with blood, but the sounds of battle have ended now. The screams of the women and children recede as they run blindly from their homes with what little they can carry.
The world is a hard place for Orc women anyway, and now... homeless with dependent children... in a hostile environment! What chance do these women have?
Eolar looks around him. It’s hard to believe that just hours before, they were sharing alcohol and jokes with these tattered corpses.
Kruddo checks the massive, fleshy body of the Golem. Telfis’ crossbow bolt has pushed out its eye and the face itself is coming away at the seams. It’s beyond help or repair.
Bodush kicks at the Giant inside it’s smouldering home. It groans its last and dies from its wounds. Grimes final words are for his beautiful golem, ‘So little time…’
Wer watches the slightly built Shen-shen turn her attention to the Dead or Dying Worgs and Ogres.
No one pursues the fleeing women and children and instead the victorious group set to pillaging the ruined Orc village. It’s peculiar, thinking of it as that.
Orcs are a nomadic people. They never settle anywhere for long and that’s why treaties and boundaries mean so little to them.
Would this permanent settlement have lasted?
Could Grimes have maintained his control?
Could Orcs really change so profoundly?

Arms for an Ex Amputee

Kruddo lowers the legless soldier to the ground and wanders off to examine the large cavern. Stepping over the ruined bodies of the dead Huloms, he searches the walls. Perhaps there’s another way out?
Thesis however sighs, gently places the tragic truncated warrior on the floor and sits down next to him. Their armless companion joins them, as do the two one-armed Orcs.
“What now?” growls the slightly smaller of the two Orcs.
Thesis is quiet but the limbless man speaks up from his prone position. “This cavern seems to be directly under the Derro’s commune. They are far too paranoid to leave it unguarded if there was any possibility of an attack. Therefore there is no possibility for escape this way. Perhaps your compatriots have been successful and we can rejoin them to freedom?” Even as he says the words, Thesis can tell he’s not optimistic.
The larger Orc speaks, “Better to die fighting than be cut down limb by limb.
The group take this time to introduce themselves properly.
The crippled leader of the Humans is called ‘Ortos’; his remaining sergeants are called ‘Selmars’ and ‘Gelless’. The young woman, though she won’t speak is titled ‘Princess Lyseu’. Unfortunately the two Orcs have names Thesis has difficulty pronouncing. They laugh at his efforts and suggest he call them ‘Righty’ and Lefty’. Easy to remember considering their specific amputations.
The Orcs wander off to examine the armour on the Huloms and the weapons lying around.
Selmars and Gelless ask Thesis for his backpack and upon receiving it, move away to see if they can jerry-rig some sort of harness that would be mutually beneficial.
Ortos beckons Thesis over. “Did I hear that Halfling Druid correctly? Did she say that she could somehow grant me a new body? Is that possible?” His face is pained and his eyes well with tears. “Any creature would do. Anything with arms that could wield a sword. Anything with legs to pursue an enemy!”
Thesis is silent for a moment. Is little Wer really that powerful?

Good Intentions, Bad Directions

The lowly Derro mould farmer, escorts the seven adventurers out the cell and into the dark corridor.
Thesis hesitates however and looks back at the mutilated prisoners. Grabbing Kruddo as he passes, he whispers in his ear.
Kruddo nods and they allow their friends to leave.
“Quick, those who can walk follow me.” Thesis lifts the grizzled quadruple amputee while Kruddo carries the legless man.
The Princess-without-a-face and the armless man timidly follow, but the two one-armed Orcs are instantly by Thesis’ side.
“Which way’s out?” the larger Orc growls.
Kruddo leads them through the darkness back to the stairwell down. They encounter no resistance. All the Derros seem to be distracted somewhere else.
Smiling at his good fortune, Thesis urges them all onward.
The door at the top of the stairwell is shut and bolted but not trapped. Sliding back the bolt, Kruddo leads on again.
Down, down, down they go in tight spirals.
Movement is slow as the prisoners, weak from their brutal surgery, stumble and wheeze with the exertion.
They finally get to the bottom and unbolt the door leading to the cavern where they faced the ‘Lesser Huloms’.
They continue walking until they get to the end of the cavern and come to a large and ornate stone archway. Acid pours from the top, running down into a long canal of unavoidable liquid pain.
Thesis looks down at Kruddo. Could they survive the five journeys through that it would take to get all their charges to the other side?

Revoltingly Soft

After a whispered conversation, Bodush 'volunteers' Kruddo to knock on the door.
He then, followed by Wer and her dog Masienta, steps back about twenty feet.
Sighing deeply, Kruddo pulls back and releases the huge brass door knocker. Everyone is surprised by the noise it makes. Rather than the loud booming expected, it chimes like a gong.
They all wait expectantly….
Nothing happens.
Kruddo knocks/chimes again and listens for any activity behind the door…
Nothing.
They start to feel impatient when Kruddo waves them to be silent.
Something is coming.
A sound of scrabbling comes from the other side of the door, the small hatch flies open and a face appears pressed up to the high hatch.
It is wild and weird looking.
Kruddo has to step back a little to see the creatures face, and when he does he shudders in revulsion. Derro’s. A race that brings nothing but shame to their Dwarven cousins.
“Eh! What do youuu want now?”
The wild haired, pale skinned creature looks at you with it’s bulging, pupiless eyes.
Kruddo demands entrance, and again Bodush is surprised by the creatures compliance.
“Step back from the door and I’ll open it.”
Kruddo backs away from the door and stands with his team-mates.
With an obvious click, Bodush, Kruddo, Wer and Masienta feel the floor drop from under them. They try to leap clear but the distance is too far and they all tumble down.
They fall about thirty feet but are fortunately saved from serious harm by a softish landing.
Revoltingly though, the soft landing is provided by a dozen or so corpses of giant caterpillar-like creatures.
Springing to her feet, Wer is just about to change form and fly back up when, with the sound of laughter echoing through the corridor, the floor above them reseals itself.
Dusting himself down, Kruddo takes in their new situation.
They seem to be in another tunnel, about the same size and direction as the one above but natural rather than worked.
There are several tunnels leading of from here that you can use.
But you can hear voices coming from ahead. It’s coming from one of two tunnels.
Wer, eager to get away from the others volunteers to take Masienta down one while Bodush and Kruddo try the other.


Kruddo, Bodush, Wer and Masienta all take 8 points of damage from the fall.
No one has cast any spells or used any special abilities today.

You Encounter a Door

Wer looks up at the conceited Sorcerer and waves him away.
Transforming into a Bat, Wer flaps after the supercilious Human.
Out of defiance, Wer decides to remain in that form for the next few hours.
Once on the other side, there's a great deal of equipment strewn about the sand.
It is all of Meldo’s load, but there are several things here that could be useful. (Including some food and oil.)
Meldo seems quite pleased at the company, but then again, it could just be the light.
After a cursory examination, Kruddo realises why the Mule was left behind; the cavern exit this side is too small for any large creature to pass through.
Leaving Meldo behind, the adventures press on.
The narrow passageway slopes steeply down at this point but then widens and flattens out about an hour later.
There are several smaller tunnels leading off the main one, but Wer has no desire to explore them on her own.
The small group continues down the wider passageway.
They travel on for another two days.
(Any rations? Ask Sven!)
Despite posting guards at night you encounter nothing but a few strange looking/sounding bugs.
The next day the tunnel starts to open out and signs of stone working can be seen.
A few hours later you come to a proper passageway. The walls and floor are not remotely perpendicular though. Kruddo is actually offended by it. Although the masonry work shows some skill, it lacks patience and planning.
The long corridor ends with a large but plain stone door.
It has a small ‘hatch’ in the upper part and a large metal knocker around three feet from the floor.
There are no visible hinges or lock mechanism on this side of it.
The hatch is about seven feet above the floor and firmly shut.

What do you do?

1) Any equipment taken from Meldo will add to individual encumbrance!

2) Two more rations (If you have them) are gone per person including the dog but not the snake.

3) If you do not have any rations left, you start to starve!

The Cavern of Watery Doom

The Orc’s laughter rings in Bodush’s ears. He represses the urge to blast them to bits and instead turns towards the darkness.
Kruddo is obviously in his element here, but Wer and her dog look nervous.
Budush doesn’t have any spells to illuminate the darkness, but plenty of oil.
This is fortunate, as Wer appears to have none.
As Bodush can only guess how long they’re going to have to stay underground he decides to ration the supply.
Figuring he has enough oil to light his lantern for about twenty-four hours, he allows the smug dwarf to lead them, but counts more on his familiar.
Bodush is impressed with this clever little fellow. Even he was startled when the tiny viper first whispered in his ear.
Letting it scout slightly ahead, it uses its abilities to scent for danger.
Gajarpan is happy enough in the darkness and finds the abundant insect life quite nutritious.
Bodush curses though as 'only' he bangs his head on the low hanging rocks.
“Sorry!” mumbles Kruddo. “I forgot you’re a stringbean.”
Bodush curses again as he hears Wer chuckling in the darkness.
They walk for hours. Maybe a day, it’s hard to tell the passing of time down here.
The adventures rest for a while and Bodush uses up four hours of oil during his watch.
Another ‘day’ passes and they rest again.
Despite posting guards at ‘night’, nothing happens.
Wer is concerned that they are losing ground on their friends.
About halfway through the third ‘day’, Kruddo whispers for everyone to halt.
Bodush lights his lantern and gazes into an enormous open cavern.
It’s truly vast and after a brief ‘shore’ it is completely filled with water.
It has a shore of ‘sand’ for about twenty feet and then stretches out into watery darkness.
Bodush holds his lantern out but the light fails to penitrate far into the darkness.
Even Kruddo can’t see to the other bank.
The water is ice cold and deathly still.

If you want to go forward, you have to get over this underground lake.
How are you going to do it?

Kruddo, Bodush, Wer and Masienta have used up all their rations the Gnomes gave them. If you didn’t have any extra, you are all a little nervous.

Bodush has used up nine hours of oil.

SEND CURRENT CHARACTER SHEETS OVER TODAY!

I Attack the Darkness

The cave mouth is large and the floor even. It leads slightly downward and curves around, following paths of innate weakness in the stone structure.
It is pitch black however. Kruddo the Dwarf can see fine but Wer and Bodush are effectively blind.
The Orcs snigger at you as you fumble in the darkness.
“Good luck.” They chuckle and they turn to leave.

What do you do?
You’ve been travelling three days now. The Gnomes gave you five rations when you left but Grimes the giant gave you nothing.
How are you going to see? You will be underground for many days.

Bodush also realises that 'Grimes' didn't remove his helmet during their conversation.
Odd.

Why Now, Black and White Cow?

While Bodush is shouting at the Orc guards atop the tall barricade, Kruddo looks up at the rest of his friends, high up the mountain path.
The Dwarven Barbarian; Durin, Thesis, the erratic Human Warrior, Telfis, the young, Human pick-pocket, Eolar the demi-Elf and… some Human female pulling Eolar’s ridiculous Mule. There also seems to be two Orcs with them as well pulling a… cow?
Tracing the path, Kruddo can see that they are heading for the cave mouth about two-thirds the way up.
It would be an easily trek from beyond the Orcan barrier, but they could make it up from here if they’re prepared for a bit of climbing.
Assuming the Orcs wouldn’t pursue them, they would only be about a day behind.
If Wer flew, she could catch them in just a few hours.

For those left behind

Bodush wakes with a start and instantly wishes he hadn’t.
The Devil’s brew is going to be the death of him. Maybe he should start experimenting with other forms of narcotic?
He gathers his clothes and wanders out of his billet half naked. It’s noon and his ‘friends’ and more importantly; the captured loot, are gone!
Shouting out their names, Bodush wanders from one Gnome abode to the next until eventually, Wer pops her head out of a window.
“What’s up stringbean?”
They both are having a hearty breakfast courtesy of the Gnomes when Kruddo walks into sight. He joins them for some food, but doesn’t get time to relax before all three of them are given a weeks supply of rations and they set off in pursuit.
Masienta proves her usefulness as she tracks the others at a reasonable speed.
After a few days, they get back to the valley of the Owlbear.
A tiny movement high up on the mountain catches Wer’s eye. What is that? People?
A sudden flash of bright red and white confirms her suspicions. “That’s Eolar up there. What’s the silly fool doing now?”
Just then they come within sight of a huge wall. It’s been made at the point of a natural narrowing of the valley. It’s crude but effective. Standing over 20’ high and made from thick tree trunks and boulders.
It would be relatively easy to climb over but you can see that it’s guarded by six Orcs. They shout when they see you; “Halt! Friend or Foe?”

What are you going to do?

What Ever Happened to...

After talking with Zibzug; sorcerer of the Kobolds, the group decide to press on towards the mountaintop.
The conditions are harsh and the going slow. Soon the heavily armoured Kruddo starts to lag behind.
“Go on without me.” The Dwarf bravely states. “I’ll catch up to you at the top.”
The others push on until they reach the upper defences.
A battle ensues with half a dozen snowy white Owlbears.
The defences are breached by Telfis’ tenacity, Wer’s opportunism and Mendez’ blind luck.
They explore further down, encountering strange machines and rodent creatures.
As they stop to rest, the seriously wounded Durin wonders aloud, “Where’s Kruddo?”