A Hundred Years of Hate

His teammates dead and his family shamed, Mendez headed back to Gon Dulat to face his responsibility and to kill the Dragon.
During the journey he bribed, bought and recruited as many men and monsters as he could find.
The most powerful of these were the lightening resistant, flesh golems bought from the insane Derros.
Unfortunately the battle against the ancient Blue Dragon and his followers was as futile as it was brutal.
Hundreds died and Mendez was dragged wounded and unconscious from the slaughter.
Realising that there was nothing more he could do, Mendez made his way back to the orphanage at Redford and the warm embrace of Etta.
Once there, Mendez quickly bought the Mayor ship and used his gold to buy off and then pay the Pit-fiend’s tax collectors.
When the Pit-fiend was driven out, Mendez continued to pay the taxes for the entire town to the Dragon.
He and Etta had many children together, as well as looking after all the orphans.
Mendez taught them all to fight and when he died, he passed on the responsibility of looking after the town to his eldest son.
Years passed until eventually, as was bound to happen, Mendez’ gold ran out.
The town was soon devastated and the population that could, moved away.
The teenage Vogir, grandson on Mendez, travelled to the nearest ‘free’ town: Highmarsh.
There he spent his time brooding and planning on how he would complete his grandfather’s quest.

A Final goodbye

Booking passage on a ship back to Seawell, Mendez says a final goodbye to Thesis.
‘Are you sure you won’t come with me? I could use your strength if I’m to defeat the dragon.’
Thesis is fully recovered thanks to Mendez’ healing magic, the ministrations of the devoted Lizard-woman and his own remarkable constitution.
‘I’m ssorry Mendezz, but you know what I’m desstined to do. Will you not reconsider and come with me?’
Mendez smiles. ‘You’re about to head off to an island ruled by evil humans and lead an army of oppressed Lizard-man slaves against them. Even if you truly become their King, I doubt there’ll be a place for someone like me. Still good-luck and I sincerely hope you’re successful.’
The normally quiet Lizard-woman steps forward and kisses Mendez’ hand.
‘I thank you for my people and my King. May Semuanya watch over you and blesss you with many children.’
Mendez smiles for the first time in days.
‘And may ‘Semiwuniwawaw’ do the same for you.’
With a wink to Thesis over the head of the blushing Lizard-woman, Mendez boards the ship.

Grave departures

Working all day, Mendez manages to dig the four graves.
Tears well up again as his now unclouded mind realises that both Eolar and Durin were killed by his bow.
It gives him no solace that they had killed his sister and one of his brothers before his retaliation.
The Were-bear, the Dwarf and the Half-Elf wear expressions of surprise but Bodush looks weirdly relieved.
The traitorous Elven Archer and the sly Kobold have long gone but Mendez had no real feeling for either of them. He hardly knew them at all really.
Fingers bleeding and fine silk clothes soiled, Mendez trudges back into his Father’s mansion to clean him self up.
He passes servants and family like a zombie.
A short while later, he visits Thesis’ room; he notices that the door is bolted shut from the outside and there are two guards posted.
‘Let me in’, Mendez growls at them.
The two guards exchange worried glances before acquiescing.
Thesis lies on the cold wooden floor. All the furniture has been removed from this room and the Lizard-woman slave has draped herself around him in an attempt to keep him warm.
Casting one of the few spells available to him, Mendez pours a little strength into his horribly wounded friend.
It’s enough.
Thesis opens his eyes with a double-lidded blink.
‘Mendezz? Isss that you?’
‘Yes my friend. You are safe and I’m about to take you out of here.’
Hefting his massive friend onto his feet, Mendez heads towards the relocked door.
‘Let us out!’
One of the terrified guards peeps through the small barred window in the reinforced wooden door.
‘We’re under orders not to let the creature out.’
Mendez utters a curse with a voice no louder than a whisper, ‘Let us out now and I won’t kill you where you stand. Do you think a few inches of timber can protect you from me?’
Hurriedly the guards slide back the bolt and open the door.
‘Supported by Mendez on one side and the Lizard-woman on the other, Thesis makes it through the doors and eventually to the outside courtyard.
Three horses are waiting for them, all saddled up and loaded with their equipment.
Mendez takes a moment to say goodbye to his weeping Mother before leading the three of them out through the front gate.

Miserable Ever After

The ‘battle’ is over and all of his friends lie dead with the exception of Thesis.
Tears rolling down his cheeks, Mendez pours his last bottle of healing elixir down the mighty Lizard-man’s throat.
It doesn’t revive him but it keeps him from death.
After shouting down his Father’s call for Thesis’ head, Mendez numbly walks over to the horribly burned body of his little sister.
Despite his Father’s spells, he’d managed to resist firing on his teammates until Eolar had killed her with a single blast of divine power.
She had been so young; so beautiful.
How could Eolar have done it?
‘Don’t fret son’ comes the voice of Estaban.
The now hated voice of his Father.
‘A simple call to our nearest Cleric will have Eris back with us in no time’.
Mendez spins round in a fury.
‘Never call me ‘Son’ again. I’m no longer under your spell or your thumb. I shall bury my friends, pack my bags and leave forever. Never ask for my help again or expect me to return.’

Eolar, Eolar...

Estaban sings to Eolar...
(To the tune of: ROBIN HOOD)

Eolar (Pompous) Eolar, with your band of friends.
Eolar (Poor) Eolar, here is where it ends.
Nowhere to run, your adventuring days are done.
Eolar, (Poor) Eolar.
I'll miss you Eolar.

:(

Rudha-an of Rowandale

As I enter the tavern my mind wanders off to the forests of Rowandale like
it usually does when I find myself in an uncomfortable situation. The tavern
is loud, full of people and stinks of old ale and rebreathed air. But I have
been traveling the lands for too long on my own and need to find companions
which can help me to explore the nature and secrets of the evil which drove
me of my homeland.

Centuries ago my family, being close to the king of our long forgotten
realm, was entrusted with the wellbeing of all that lives in Rowandale and
the mountains surrounding it. But the thick forests and purling streams
started to fade away when I was young and an unknown evil started to gnaw on
the roots of the trees my family had protected for generations. Being raised
in the ways of nature I was sent out to learn more about its source and to
find a cure. That was a long time ago.

My ultimate goal is to go back and reclaim what was lost. After countless
years of exploring the wilderness without any result, the dangers ahead and
the task at hand force me to find companions with whom I can explore these
lands. A party of five, weathered and interesting looking, makes me shift
back to the here and now. I ask one of the humans in the group whether I
could sit down, and after he invites me to do so, I tell him my name:
Rudha-an of Rowandale.

After discussing the coming plans of the party, the group is quite
happy to have a guardian druid on board. I think this for me is the perfect
opportunity to seek for what was long lost and help the forces of nature to
gain back control over all beings. "I am the seeker. I am the stalker. I am
the storm."

The Big Finish

Moritz took some photgraphs!

DT Goes Fourth

So, our campaign has come to an end.

The players were either killed or else died of old age in the years that separate this campaign from our next.

As a group we have also decided to move forward.
Members have left (Bye Moritz!) and others have joined (Hello Christoph!).

And so for the new campaign we will be playing 4th Edition, starting from 1st level, remove computers and projectors from the group play sessions (but keep them for character creation), and also be playing in a more cosy conference room.

The campaign itself will be set in darker times after the war between the Blue Dragon and the Pit-Fiend.

If you would like to follow our activities see our new blog Dragon Tales at dtgoesfourth.blogspot.com

Collective learning? Effective teaching? Not in my adventuring group!

In his last comment under the post "No holds bard", Kirk made a good point about how
we, as a party, are meant to collectively learn from our experiences and take the
appropriate measures to ensure we don't repeat the same lessons too often. I agree
that the apes throwing rocks was an excellent way to teach us about how to deal with
being ambushed and surrounded by a team of fairly weak creatures; the point was made
clearly and effectively, as many of us felt embarrassed by our performance while at
the same time we understood the point being made. The fact that our characters were
none the worse for wear ensured that all of us should have been able to act in a more
appropriate way when the opportunity presented itself.

The thing is, it's very difficult for a group of people to collectively learn
anything, and we all know this. I'm not saying that it never happens; indeed, the
fact that companies learn how to adapt to changing market influences, athletic teams
learn how to beat other teams, and armies learn how to outsmart / outmaneuver / kill
other armies every day shows that groups of people can clearly learn from their
collective mistakes. However, all of these entities have two elements in common:
structured leadership and the ability to remove or retrain unfit members to
improve the group's net performance. As an adventuring group, while we can't force
our own members to leave if they're not performing well enough (and we shouldn't!),
we can retweak our characters to work better within our specific group. Additionally,
we've occasionally debated about our lack of centralized leadership, let alone a
command structure of any sort, and I think we should give it a shot in 4e. Otherwise,
it's going to be very difficult for us, as a group of individually-minded adventurers
who can be resurrected after dying, to collectively learn anything.

Having said all that, I imagine that if I were in Kirk's DM shoes, I probably would
have done a similar thing to our party -- after I gave them fair warning that I'd be
testing them to see how much they learned from the adventure! It can be very
frustrating to try and teach something to an entity who cannot or will not learn, and
if I had one last shot to see whether such an entity had learned anything, I'd
probably also make it a painful test. However, to not tell an entity that you're
trying to teach them something; to not tell this entity that you'll then test them on
everything you've been trying to "teach" them; and to then berate them for not
"learning" anything from your "lessons" is just silly! It's also cruelly fun, but
that's besides the point. ;)

In short, I think that we, the players, should try using some sort of simple command
structure to better coordinate our fights if we ever want to collectively learn and
grow from our adventures. Otherwise, our post-battle reports will always have lots of
comments that read like this: "gosh, that was a clusterfuck! why didn't X do Y?"
Similarly, if DMs are going to test how well we learned the lessons of an adventure,
they should let us know. Otherwise, we're going to operate under the presumption that
they're going to try out some cool new monster / combat feat that they've discovered.

An Arrow too far?

‘Challenge Ratings’ are pretty lame. Would 17th level Estaban have lasted more than 12 seconds if he stood against the Party alone?
The way I see it is that a 'Challenge rating' equal to the Party is only a quarter as powerful.
Just out of curiosity though, would one of you ‘Techies’ work out what the ‘Challenge Rating’ was for the final battle?

The Party:

1) Eolar: 17th level Cleric/Ranger
2) Thesis: 17th level Fighter/Barbarian
3) Bodush: 16th level Sorcerer
4) Durin: 14th level Barbarian
5) Mara'ch: 13th level Rogue/Sorcerer thingy

Party assets:

1) Ragnar: 13th level Fighter/werebear (Don’t say he doesn’t count just because he’s a sidekick)
2) Roly: 5th level Cleric (Would have healed ‘certain’ Party members)
3) Lizard-folk slaves. x 2 (CR:2)

Neutrals:

1) Meldo
2) Children x 7
3) Siren children x 3
4) Sailors x 3
5) Hamster-men x 2

Opposition:

1) Estaban: 17th level Bard (With only one offensive spell that he could only use once)
2) Dorgon: 12th level Fighter. (Meant to have targeted Mara'ch)
3) Valdis: 13th level Fighter/Barbarian (Silver-sheened Halfling of death!)
4) Mendoza: 12th level Fighter (Hit and run specialist)
5) Hawkmoon: 14th level Fighter/Wizard (Traitorous turncoat)
6) Mendez: 17th level Fighter/Barbarian/Ranger (Geased to attack any that attacked family)
7) Benidict: 7th level Rogue (Law hating backstaber)
8) Eris: 3rd level Wizard (Sweet 18 year old little sister)
9) Brothers x 11: 4th level Fighters (Completely safe on their 10' wall...)
10) Thugs x 12: 1st level Fighters (Completely worthless)
11) Servants x 4 1st level commoners (Even more completely worthless)

As for the encounter setting...
Estaban had planned against you but the courtyard itself was only a minor obstacle and the tactics were pretty straight forward.

Final Banner: The End

Oh my. Utter carnage.

Should we review what happened? OK, Lets:

Bodush and Eolar were under a gaes, and were compelled to return with the diamonds.
We all duely did the same (why?) and strolled into the killing-field courtyard.
Hawkmoon revealed himself as the spy and shot at Bodush, who survived thanks to stone-skin.
Bodush then took out Hawkmoon with a power-word stun.

Two more attacks took place, one from the halfling with his silversheen dagger against Ragnar and the other by the sailor-spy on Eolar.

All fine up to that point. We could even be said to be winning and Mendez was holding back on shooting anyone.

But then, it was up to us and frankly our decisions were poor in terms of who to attack.

The obvious candidates would have been the spy and the halfling.

Thesis and Durin chose neither. We did what we always say we shouldn't do but do anyway - split up.

Eolar's decision was possibly worse: let off an indiscriminate killing spell.

From there on in it was probably over, but, yet there were one or two more chances.

* Had Thesis acknowledged that Mendoza and the big guy had broken off and dropped back to aid the dying Eolar, that would have helped.
* Had Durin run across the wall he so incredibly lept upon earlier and engaged Mendez, that would certainly have helped.
* And, had someone (any of us) decided to stand with Bodush things would have been a lot different.

Clearly we could and should have played it differently, but would that have been enough to win? I'm not sure, there were a lot of brothers on the wall and Esteban was in full-rude health.
We may still have lost.
And in any case, there was a devil waiting for us inside. :P

What do you all think?

Bard to the Bone

A week before the end...

Mendez’ face is clouded when Estaban moves to sit back down with his youngest son.
"Now Mendez, although I’m grateful for the gifts you have given your brothers, let’s see what else you have that’d be useful... Hmmn. Frankly I’m surprised by how little magic you have considering you’ve been adventuring for nearly three years. These ‘Tanglefoot’ bags look like you’ve been carrying them around for ages! Still from what I’ve recently learned a few of these items, specifically this pot of ‘Silversheen’ may prove useful…"

Stinker, Sailor, Soldier, Spy

About five weeks ago…

As the massive gorilla bounds into the clearing, the three sailors draw their swords.
The two Hamster men simply cower idiotically and try to hide behind the trees.
Easily out powering them, the gorilla rends the first sailor in half and quickly turns to dispatch the remaining two. With astonishing speed, the huge ape grabs at the second sailor. His powerful jaws clamping down on the weathered sailors throat.
Suddenly a sword erupts through its powerful chest.
Dropping the dying sailor, the ape tries to turn, but his back is stabbed again.
With blood pouring from the two serious wounds, it dies gazing up at the fragile looking human. A look of confusion frozen onto its leathery face.
Benidict regards the massive ape with contempt and then calls to the Hamster men.
“Come out. You’re safe now.”
Obviously relieved, the two Hamster men emerge timidly from the foliage.
Like sheep they approach the remaining Sailor for reassurance and like lambs they are cut down by their supposed saviour.
“I’m sorry rodents, but I just can’t have you telling the adventurers what I just did.”
Benidict stares at the carnage for a moment before getting to work.
He carefully arranges the bodies to make it look as though everyone was fighting the lone ape. He then proceeds to cut himself several times across his chest. Deep enough to bleed freely but shallow enough not to cause serious injure.
Benidict then hides himself in the bushes until help arrives.

No Holds Bard

Three weeks ago…

Hawkmoon is searching idly for more diamonds when he hears a noise nearby…

“Are you alone?”

Looking around, Hawkmoon can see no one but knows Estaban’s tricks well enough to recognise this as being one of his.
Durin’s in sight but too far away to hear anything.

“What do you want Estaban?”

“I need to hear your report. I need to know the strengths and weaknesses of your travelling companions. Their favoured spells and tactics. Their vulnerabilities and defensive shortcomings. Everything I need to know to defeat them when the time comes!”

Hawkmoon sighs and, while making sure he’s out of sight, tells Estaban everything he wants to hear.

“Very well - though I don't approve of your underhand tactics to influence the others. Am I not insurance enough?
Overall the Party are a disparate bunch. Different aims and goals. They don't act together, but somehow manage to salvage most situations. Usually through the use of powerful magics.

Bodush should probably be your first target. His firepower is unprecedented, but catch him early on and he would be an easy target.
After a few seconds, though, beware. He will fly, become invisible and also likely create a number of fake images to confuse your archers.
There's even a chance that he’ll pre-empt an attack and protect himself in advance.

The Werebear is nothing special in his human guise, but beware him once he changes. He becomes extremely strong. I would suggest avoiding melee with him if you can.

Next you may wish to focus on Thesis: the lizard-man. He and the Dwarf are both good close combatants, but the lizard has the slight edge. Being a barbarian, Durin's tactics are often baffling but once stuck in a combat he will quickly become angry and become a whirling dervish of axe! Be prepared for healing against these two. Split them up; Divide and conquer.

The pedantic Cleric: Eolar is more an annoyance than anything. He’s self serving and almost as shambolic in combat as the Dwarf. He will probably be called on to heal the others, but instead will try to damage you himself! He may call down the fury of his God, but catch him in melee and he will drop quickly.

Mara'ch, the new Kobold, is a tricky one. Keep your fighters away from him. He can't fight himself but is somehow able to sap the strength of others.
If you are looking for an easy kill, then shoot him. Be quick, though, as he will likely disappear like Bodush.

Use the element of surprise to your full advantage. Act quickly decisively. Concentrate your attacks against one target at a time.

I have no loyalty to these adventurers - but make no mistake. Turn on me as you would turn on them and I swear I will return from the very bowels of Hell to take my revenge upon you...”

There’s silence for a moment before Estaban speaks again.

“Good work Hawkmoon. You’ve confirmed my thoughts and given me everything I needed to know. When you arrive back here, do nothing until Bodush and Eolar have handed over the diamonds. No doubt my youngest son will try to speak up for his friends. As soon as he starts talking, shoot Bodush in the back.
As for me turning on you… save your oaths. A deal is a deal."

The Big Picture

A hundred years have passed since we brought our Most Noble Lord and established him in His rightful place as King of Gom Dalat and Emperor of the Furnace Coast. Throughout His glorious reign, He has time and time again demonstrated His commitment to peace and prosperity, freedom and stability, justice and mercy. While the rest of the region has been devastated by warfare, Our Most Noble Lord has kept us safe, entering conflict only when necessary to protect His charges from harm.

It is with great pleasure I have been asked to speak at this banquet of the merchant guilds commemorating His centenary Jubilee. We are all beneficiaries of His strength and wisdom, and trade is only possible due to His stabilising influence.

Going over His record as ruler, we only have to look to the early years for confirmation of our great fortune. As tales of the horrors of Seawell spread across the region, the jingoistic priests of Febril prepared for a brash assault against the Pit Fiend. Forging an alliance with the noble Dragonborn of the Island of Sunrest, their fleets sailed against Seawell. Our Most Noble Lord sent his emissaries to the Priests and to the Devils, urging against this war, stating time and time againg that this conflict would only bring ruin to all.

His warnings were not heeded, the Furnace coast ran red the blood of devil, dragonborn and human alike.

Still, our Lord was magnanimous, offering succour and shelter to the innocent refugees of this war. It was this that pulled him into war. A Pit Fiend does not understand the very concept of mercy or justice. A Pit Fiend cannot comprehend the nobility of Dragons, and so the Pit Fiend of Seawell betrayed us all, sending his armies against us.

Dragonborn and Human united under Our Lord's blue banner, and we pushed the invader back. Sacrifices were made by all, but His leadership saw us through.

It was then that Our Lord unleashed his most potent weapon. Drawing round him a circle of sorcerers from lost Febril, he oversaw the ritual that twisted the very fabric of reality and brought the forbidden lands out of the shadows. Out of these lands came a new army, fresh from an eternity in the primordial chaos, emerged. Once human, but now warped beyond recogniton, the Tieflings fell into the flanks of the retreating army, and the Pit Fiend was driven away from our world.

When I now look at this assembled crowd, when I look at the prosperity of our beloved city, I know who I should thank. If it was not for the noble Dragon-nature of our Lord, we would have shared the fate of Febril and Seawell, now just ruins in the Marshlands. I propose that we raise our glasses in a toast to our rightful ruler!

Survival of the Fattest

Roly sneaks a peak through his fingers. The psychopathic tiny man has disapeared and all his children appear unharmed.
Looking around himself he sees the carnage of the furious but short lived battle.
Every single one of his ‘rescuers’ lie dead or dying.
He feels mixed emotions. He actually liked the Dwarf and the Were-bear and he felt a debt to the teenage Sorcerer. Ashamedly though, he's glad that the Elven Cleric Eolar was killed.
He spies Mendez craddling the massive Lizard-man Thesis in his arms. It looks like he’s trying to bind his equally massive wounds.
As quietly as possible, Roly ushers the boys, girls and Siren children back to the gate.
He is grateful when the two servants open it without fuss.
Without a backward glance at the mansion, wagons or treasure, Roly wobbles away back towards the city of Shalalah as fast as he can.
Reassured by the weight of the bulging purses on his belt, the multiple necklaces, broaches, bangles and the rings on every finger, Roly knows that he’ll have enough money to ensure a comfortable living for himself and a future for all of his charges.

Buried in Experience

Whoopsy.
After two years of giving the Party soft encounters I finally pitched an equal force at you.
We can pull apart the encounter later but I think our arrogance was our undoing.
Despite knowing that Estaban was prepared the Party still just ran around individually and hit separate targets.
Eolar actually did more harm to his own Party than the enemy!
Only Mara’ch showed any trace of self-preservation and so unsurprisingly he was the only one to survive.

The final scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 18: 153,026xp (Guilt ridden)
Eolar: Level 17: 147,998xp (Dead)
Thesis: Level 17: 143,195xp (KO’d but saved by Mendez and the Lizard lady)
Chen: Level 16: 127,436xp (Plotting against the Dragon)
Bodush: Level 16: 120,199xp (Dead)
Durin: Level 14: 105,213xp (Dead)
Wer: Level 14: 102,312xp (Plotting against the Pit fiend)
Hawkmoon: Level 14: 93,396xp (Guilt free)
Mara’ch: Level 14: 93,199xp (Still plotting how to get the diamonds back)
Ragnar: Level 13: 86,420xp (Dead)
Elogyn: Level 12: 74,556 xp (Saving the world regardless of if you want her to or not)
Ned: Level 6: 19,264 xp (Married and happy)
Kruddo: Level 6: 17,668 xp (Went back to the family mining business)

The Speed of Fought

Happily Bodush and Eolar walk through the open gates into the courtyard of Estaban’s mansion.
There are many guards, but that’s to be expected, as they’ll be needed to protect the diamonds.
Thesis and Durin seem still baffled by their companions generosity but still follow them into the walled off courtyard.
Hawkmoon enters behind them but moves around unnoticed to the other side of the walled in area.
Mara’ch, still disguised as one of the children, enters with the entourage that the Party have accompanied or collected along their journey.
Ragnar, the surviving four sailors, the two Hamster-men, Roly and his adopted children, the Lizard-folk slaves and the Siren children.
Waiting by the far gate, Estaban calls out, “Welcome friends. Leave all of the diamonds by the fountain”.
It’s then that the Party notice Mendez and his brothers lining the walls. These walls aren’t particularly tall. 10’ at their lowest, 20’ at their highest.
The Party notices Mendez because he calls out through gritted teeth, “Half! Half is fair. My friends deserve somethi”.
Unfortunately he doesn’t get to finish his sentence before being interrupted by Bodush’s gasp of surprise as an arrow fired by Hawkmoon glances off the back of his head. Luckily this is due to the protection of the ‘Stone skin’ spell that was still in effect from the previous battle.
Suddenly Eolar and Bodush find themselves free from Estaban’s enchantment.

Last Moments

Estaban strides out of his study to find Mendoza waiting for him.
“The diamonds are just hours away little brother. Is everything prepared?”
Mendoza mumbles in response.
“Yes Estaban. Everything is how you wanted it.”
“And the men?”
“Yes Estaban. The men will be waiting at the dock.”
“Excellent. Good work Mendoza.”
With that Estaban turns and walks off down the corridor, leaving the despondent Mendoza alone with his guilt.

Yet another diary excerpt from Bodush' Infernal(Linguistically speaking) Diary

Dear Diary,

This philantrophy is a funny business. I must admit that I have at times questioned my judgement in leaping to the aid of Mendez' father in his, what I suspect(although my drunkenness on that has clouded my memory), quite dire financial circumstances. Hopefully the sacrifices that we( but mainly the sailors and the hamsters) made will allow him to keep his mansion, his servants, his stables and his luxurious lifestyle. Still, this whole adventure is making it painfully clear that my time in this group should come to an end. Even if we discount the whole Pit Fiend/Dragon debacle, I do feel as if our impact as a group has been a rather negative one on the world as a whole.

Our unilateral interventions in various conflicts have had unforeseen consequences that have come back to haunt us. Even such a semmingly innocent endeavour as defending a gnomish village against orc raiders led to an upset in the local powerstructure that left an entire region at the mercy of the whims of a giant warlord. I hope that region appreciates what we had to do to rectify that situation.

On the other hand, our current quest has done some good. Roly and his charges will soon be safe in civilisation, and we will finally have the chance to show Mendez that despite his incessant self-aggrandizing tales, we do seem him as a worthy member of our group. Still, I am getting more and more uncomfortable with my place in the group and the consequences of our actions. I think I will seriously consider the offer I have had from Szandor.

Anyway, I have to go. My fellow travellers are concocting another crazy plot to extract liquour from a Magnificent Mansion on board a moving ship. I can't wait to get back Esteban.

Worst Father Ever!

No not Estaban...
Me!
It's my Boy's birthday on Tuesday.
Game date change to Wednesday 28th.
I hope no-one minds and everyone can make it.
Please, please. Pretty please.
So sorry.
Everyone make it and I promise this'll be the last session of this adventure.
I'll also bring jelly snakes as well as the beer.
Oh and sorry!

The Babies on the Boat go Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa

The journey back is surprisingly uneventful. This is lucky because there’s scarcely room to swing Hawkmoon’s cat.

The Elven Box-Ship contains:

Thesis the hulking Lizard-man.

The two Lizard-folk slaves.

Durin the stout Dwarf.

Eolar the tall Half Elf.

The (thankfully) human sized Ragnar.

Bodush the Sorcerer.

Gajapan the tiny viper.

Mara’ch the slightly larger Kobold.

And his unnamed rat.

Hawkmoon the Elven Archer.

Rou the cat.

Roly (the annoyingly obese) cleric.

The two Hamster-men.

The four Sailors.

The three boys.

The four girls.

The three Siren children.

A Riding horse.

And last but not least: Meldo the donkey.

A total of thirty-one creatures in a ship designed to hold fifteen.
Still if you get hungry…

Volcanic ash stops play

As Sven is stuck somewhere is Europe and Moritz is sticking around in England for an extra week, tonight's game is cancelled...
Unless Assif, Scott, Josh and Moritz fancy a game today AND next week
If not, see you boys next week.

New Banner: Wham, Bam, Thank you mam!

We move from defenceless beauties engaged in lovemaking murdered without a thought to a much more significant battle.

The Hag laid in wait for us to return and threw trolls, elementals and magic at us.
The party though were rather more troubled by the presence of a few unlocked doors.

Having barged down door after door the Hag was at our mercy, but she most definitely still had the upper hand - Multiple Mirror Images, Mage Armour and a slew of spells ready to discharge.

That is when we showed our true strength as a party:
Wham! Dispel Magic - Roll 18, 20, 20 - all defences down!
Bam! Feeble Mind - now uncapable of casting more
Thank You Mam! Cut to pieces by Sword and Claw!

As powerful as we may seem right now, I can guarantee it is all Hubris - just wait till the next session ....

Boxy but Good

The magical Elven box-ship is considerably smaller than the Gnomish Sky-ship but it can just about support the sailors, the Hamster-men, the adventurers and the assorted rescued refugees.
All eyes are on the sea for several days, but everyone relaxes when they realise that the dreaded Kraken won’t be resurfacing again.
Days turn into weeks but eventually the surviving Sailors inform you that Shalalah is only a few more days away…

Evolar

Ragnar, Thesis and Durin struggle for a while to free the magical ship from the rocks.
It’s only when its free and everyone’s onboard that Bodush finally reappears.
He can’t help but smile as he asks, ‘Why didn’t you just turn it back into its box form?’
The group decision is to take the two Lizard people and the three innocent Siren children with them.
Only Eolar seemed to have any objections.
Although the Siren children are scared, Roly is happy to take responsibility for them. The two Lizard people are also glad to help keep them calm.
When Roly hears of Eolar’s desire to kill them, it just confirms his low opinion of the Elven St Cuthbertian.

Salve Nauta Interruptus

Standing on the rocky island, Durin looks around at the bedraggled band.
Something’s wrong.
Someone’s missing.
Slapping his hand to his forehead, he signals Ragnar and dives back into the water filled passageway.
Ragnar looks confused for a moment but then realisation dawns and he also dives into the natural well.
They both take the third tunnel and after about half a minute surface in the air filled cavern.
It’s filled with a soft light and softer furnishings: Fur rugs and silk cushions.
It also contains the bodies of three of the slain Sirens plus (the very much alive) fat Cleric Roly and the four (now dressed) Sailors.
Roly seems happy to see them but the Sailors are looking a bit miffed.
‘They were so beautiful. Why did you have to kill them?’
Despite this they’re all glad when Ragnar and Durin carry them back up to the surface.

Alternative Alignments

After the last email, I thought about what are Party would be if we used a combination of traditional and personality based alignments…

Mendez: Flamboyant Good
Thesis: Chaotic Selfish
Eolar: Lawful Rigid
Durin: Erratic Good
Hawkmoon: Cynical Neutral
Bodush: ‘I swear I’m Neutral’ Evil
Mara’ch: True Newt-ral
Ragnar: Awful Hairy.

:)

Delving Deep for Experience

Good fun but not the toughest of opponents.
(You did manage to evade the Kraken again AND get an Elder Wind Elemental to 'blow' you though.)
;)
Only Durin managed to level up…
Sorry Mara’ch.

The current scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 17: 149,616xp
Eolar: Level 17: 147,998xp
Thesis: Level 17: 140,095xp
Bodush: Level 16: 120,199xp
Durin: Level 14: 105,213xp (Goes up to 15th level!)
Hawkmoon: Level 14: 93,396xp
Mara’ch: Level 13: 90,499xp
Ragnar: Level 13: 86,420xp

No one's changed positions despite Bodush's repeated absences.

Hag’s Swag

Mara’ch and Hawkmoon swim to the treasure room and open up the door with the keys found on the old Hag’s dead body.
The room is wide but the ceiling is low. Both adventures are slightly built and the blue kobold has magically shrunken himself.
Still this room gives them a claustrophobic feeling.
The treasure litters the floor in piles but just as Mara’ch reaches for some an eel like creature shots out from its hiding place!
Mara’ch feels a shock of electricity shoot through him but before he can even register it, the eel is gone.
Realising that this might be a problem, Hawkmoon and Mara’ch wait for the others to deal with the annoying eels...

Treasure from the treasure room:

24,000sp
4,000gp
224pp
29 gems
A pearl encrusted comb
A crystal hourglass
A golden cup.

Treasure from the dead Sirens

19 Javelins
8 gems
8 golden tiaras.

Treasure from the dead Hag

A Crystal bowl
A jet-black amulet
3 gems

And a Spell book:

1st) Shield / Feather Fall / Obscuring Mist / Magic Missile / Sleep

2nd) Protection from Arrows / Mirror Image / Blindness / Gust of Wind / Continual Flame

3rd) Lightning Bolt / Water Breathing / Clairvoyance

4th) Ice Wall / Invisibility (Greater)

All Hail the Lizard King!

Easily breaking the chains that bound the disconcertingly attractive Lizard woman to the wall, Thesis swims back up with her through the tunnels to the surface.
Making their way back to the magical boat the Lizard woman asks Thesis the same question he had heard from the male Durin had rescued earlier.
‘Forgive me Sire, but may I ask what clan you are from?’
Thesis isn’t sure why, but he answers truthfully this time.
‘I was not born a Lizard man but instead reborn as one after dying in battle.’
On hearing this, the Lizard woman falls to her knees and bows low.
‘My King, you have returned to us!’

Silent Siren

Free of her pursuers, the last surviving Siren casts about for someway to protect herself.
These beasts may have killed her sisters but their deaths will not go unavenged!

Sleeping with the Fishes

Lurking under the water, the Sea Hag waits for what can only be the final encounter.
She had grossly misjudged the strength of the adventurers. The Elven Cleric had somehow managed to resist the song of her ‘daughters’ and blasted her precious plans apart.
Many of her daughters are dead and despite being air-breathers, the adventurers have pursued her into the underwater caves.
Still, she can’t leave, so it’s going to be a fight to the death.

The Most Interesting DM Ever!

Mendez, Draw back your Bow

Estaban gestures to the silk covered couch.
‘Sit down my son and I’ll try to explain. I’ve made a few ‘mistakes’ recently and now find myself owing some very dangerous ‘people’ a great deal of money. I’ve sold most everything I have but it’s not enough. I need those diamonds.’
Mendez looks at his Father, as if for the first time.
‘I would have helped you gladly. I have more money then I know what to do with.’
Pride glowing from his face, Estaban responds sadly.
‘It wouldn’t be enough. I need those diamonds!’
Mendez shakes his head.
‘My friends will kill you. Despite your skills, you’re not powerful enough to stop them and I can’t help you. They’re my friends. I owe Bodush and Eolar my very life!’
Estaban starts to scowl.
‘I’m sure you’ve repaid that debt a hundred times. You will stand by your family. You will do as I tell you!’
Mendez springs back to his feet.
‘I WILL NOT!’
Estaban takes a step back and smiles. His voice rich and deep, he soothes his son…

‘Mendez, you’ll take out your bow,
and you’ll let your arrows flow,
straight to your companion’s hearts for me.
Mendez, hear now my cry,
you'll let your arrows fly,
at anyone who attacks your family.’

Genuine Imitation Lizard Skin

As Thesis powers down through the dark waters, he feels his mind start to drift.
It’s taken him over a year to grow accustomed to his new body.
His altered senses were strange to him at first, but he’s grown to like his enlarged size, armoured skin, razor-sharp teeth and enormous lungs.
He’s even gotten used to the four-foot tail!
Something is still wrong though…
He should be more than he is.
More than just a Warrior.
More than just a meat shield for the ungrateful Spellcasters.
A greater glory is calling to him…
But what?

Short on Experience

Although I annoyingly keep ending sessions half way through encounters, it's not fair that certain characters don't get rewarded.

If he doesn't drown before the finish, Durin will get enough experience to go up to 15th level!
Josh, roll your new d12 for HPs in front of Dag or Sven and have your character sheet ready.

As for the last round of level ups, I allocated one above average HPs just for the sake of the sheets.
Assif's boys rolled him a disloyal minimum of 6 for Thesis but what did Hawkmoon and Bodush really get?
Are their character sheets correct?

New Banner: We said Spank Us, not Kill Us!

Utterly gorgeous Sirenes with a craving for human flesh. But this time, they didn't want to eat, merely to have a taste. If we hadn't been greeted by a loathsome Hag and her Scrags, we might have just let the sailors have their way.

Instead carnage ensued.

The situation is not particularly good though. We have swum through a water tunnel to find ourselves in a water filled cavern faced by said Hag and Scrags. Rapidly running out of breath, I think this may go badly!

By the way, some of the funniest parts of the adventure were earlier when we got a rather annoyed Elder Air Elemental to "blow" us. Classic.

Kudos goes to Yousef for being cleverer than a room full of PhDs :)

End Game

As a few players have pointed out, I’ve been hogging the Dming duties since November last year.
In an attempt to finish, I will not force the Party to search the mainland of ‘Sirenity Island’ or turn around and head for ‘Savage Island’ or ‘Cob Island’ or even to stop at ‘Mammouth Island’.
All the Party has to do is finish/escape the current situation with the Sea Hag and get back to Shalalah for the final showdown with Estaban.
I’m happy to play any week and any day.
Please help me work out when all six of you are free at the same time.
I don’t want to delay the next session but I NEED everyone present.
It would be mean to kill you all piecemeal.
;)

Railroading trick Number 2

Peril as you like it

The eight beautiful Sirens lie on the rocky shore giggling together. Their mother has just warned them that visitors are approaching.
‘I can’t wait for them to come. They may be cross though… Do you think they’ll spank us?’
‘Well you’ve been ever so naughty. Perhaps they’ll spank us all… And then do as they like with us!’
‘Yes, we all deserve a good spanking!’
Tossing back their luxurious long hair, their laughter rings merrily across the water.

What the Sea Saw

The old crone lets her gnarled hand dip into the seawater.
‘I sense a disturbance in the depth. Someone has angered the Kraken. Someone travelling by ship. Someone very powerful. Come my beautiful daughters, let us prepare them a suitable welcome.’

Let your Wind Blow Free

Eolar finds it impossible to meditate over the incessant whispering of the Iron flask in his pack.
Turning it over in his hands, he can see the writing engraved upon its smooth surface.
It is written in ‘Infernal’ but that is of little consequence to a cleric of St Cuthbert.
A simple prayer deciphers the two phrases:
‘May this flask be your home’ and ‘Be free only to serve’.
By the cool temperature of the flask and the howling whispers he can hear, Eolar can guess that a powerful creature of air is currently trapped inside.
A useful ally in any situation.
The only issue will be when a situation's bad enough to warrant its release.

New Banner: Knowing When To Stop

Oh brave valiant heroes ... not!

So, having masterfully executed a less than perfect plan and taken out all the male giants and any threat, we find ourselves again close to death through sheer stupidity.

The female Fomorians were ready to surrender and bow to our wishes, but we attacked them in their caves. Coming out in a rage they trampled all over us sending us scattering, but still they offered surrender.

Did we take it, no we didn't.

Ragnar chose mistook raised arms for menace and carried on with the attack.

Eventually, barely alive (especially Durin) we took their final surrender.

On the upside we got a magic boat and armfuls of fancy treasure and useful magic.

Onward to the conclusion of this Odyssey of Lunacy ...

The Bigger they are, the more experience for all

At last the Party managed to fight worthy creatures and gain vital xp.
The Giant snakes gave shed loads and the Fomorian giants gave massive amounts.
:)
Working out what Bodush deserved was difficult but worthwhile in the end as he still (just) managed to level up, as did Thesis and Hawkmoon!

The current scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 17: 147,696xp
Eolar: Level 17: 146,253xp
Thesis: Level 16: 138,350xp (Up to 17th level!)
Bodush: Level 15: 120,099xp (Up to 16th level!)
Durin: Level 14: 103,468xp
Hawkmoon: Level 13: 91,651xp (Up to 14th level!)
Mara’ch: Level 13: 88,745xp
Ragnar: Level 13: 85,062xp

Dag, Scott and Assif roll your new HPs in front of the first available witness and let me know.
Regardless of the dice roll, Thesis is the first of us to break the 200HP barrier!

Let’s Kill the Battered Women and take their Stuff!

The remaining giantess sends one of the children to fetch the ‘boat’.
Hawkmoon , suspecting treachery trails after the boy and watches him like his namesake.
Making his way to the dead leader’s cave, the boy pulls aside a heavy rock and exposes a secondary, smaller cave.
Inside are piles of gold and silver coins, gems and various items that can only be magical.
The giant boy retrieves a small box and moves to come out of the cave.
Despite their obvious size difference, Hawkmoon blocks his path and indicates the rest of the treasure. Simple gestures make it clear that Hawkmoon expects the boy to bring it all.
Scowling, the giant boy does as bidden.
Pulling out sacks, the boy drags the treasure out of the cave and down to where the Party are waiting.

It’s a big haul.
4,012gp.
6,829sp.
241pp.
18 gems.
A golden statuette of Moradin (God of the Dwarves).
An ornamental silver shield of St Cuthbert.
A golden crown set with rubies.
A Tapestry showing a victorious battle of Hextor.
A leather quiver containing 20 arrows.
An Arcane scroll: Identify/Sleep/Web.
An Arcane scroll: Dismissal/Arcane Eye.
Potion.
Potion.
An impressive looking Tower shield.
A Throwing axe.
Some sturdy leather gauntlets with iron rivets.
A chain shirt.
A wooden box that has some Elven words caved on it’s lid: 'Size of a: Box/Boat/Ship'.
And finally a silver flask. (When Durin put it to his ear, he could swear he could hear the sound of the wind and a voice pleading for release.)
Also, Hawkmoon hands over the Masterwork, 'flaming' sword he found tied onto the Fomorian chief’s spear.

Not wanting to hang around for the returning giant warriors, the Party make haste back to Bodush’s ‘Magnificent mansion’ where they can divide up their 'earnings' in safety.

Can't live without him?

Four Arms glares at the tiny interlopers.
They’d attacked early and despite their precautions had somehow caught them by surprise.
A few of his warriors had left to tend the flocks already, but most everyone else was here.
These had to be the creatures who’d attacked and killed the boy Gronk and the Beast-master.
They don’t look scary, yet two of his dogs have been destroyed and one of his brothers lies dead at his feet.
Killed by magic!
Spinning around to look for the culprit, he sees the vile Sorcerer hovering in the air.
Their eyes lock.
Despite his massive size, Four Arms is surprised to see something strange in the Sorcerers gaze…
Fear?
Amusement?
It’s impossible to tell what exactly but the Sorcerer is definitely planning on leaving.
But why would he abandon his underlings so soon?
What does it mean to their plans?

Short-handed against Tall Fee Fi Foes

Well, apart from Dag and possibly Moritz, we stil have four players for next TUESDAY (the 9th of March).
If you four survive the rest of the 'Giant' encounter, I'll try to get you all back to Shalalah.

New Banner: Those Colours Are Insane!

Ahh, the wonders of Prismatic Spray. Drove one of the giants completely nuts and made a lovely statue of a dog to remember us by.
Sadly though not enough damage was done by the many other beams and we find we have only killed one of the giants so far.

Following a neat if poorly executed plan we find ourselves ambushing a Troll-Giant stronghold. The Fiery Demon conjured by Eolar has been consumed. Great work from Bodush, Eolar, Hawkmoon and Marach so far, but next it will be the turn of the fighters. If only we can praise Ragnar away from the lady giant he is molesting ;)

Bring on the Wall! Sorry ... Giants!

[Edit: Eolar having conjured big beasties to battle giants and persuaded his pet bear ... sorry Ragnar ... to go fight the ladies, bravely placed himself out of harms way behind a shell of repulsion.

Nothing new there you might say, but the problem with this one is that his friends can't move back to him for healing either :(

Maybe he will unleash devastating divine fire from afar?]

Properience?

After an odd few sessions, we’re going into the next one mid-battle with the Giants.
This is unfortunate as a few of you should go up a level before the final confrontation with Estaban.
You’ll need to!
Assuming the Party is victorious against the giants and that Thesis and Bodush survive, they should both go up a level.
Thesis up to 17th and Bodush up to 16th!
Hawkmoon may also squeak up to 14th.
As such, can you work out your new character sheets and have them ready?
Dag can roll his new d4 in front of Sven.
Assif and Scott will have to allocate average Hps until the day of the next session.
Hawkmoon can have 4 + con bonus and Thesis gets 7 + con bonus (Assuming he takes another level of Barbarian).
Considering the way we play, the Party might not get to Estaban’s mansion…
But you might!

We Flame Strike at Dawn!

After magically transporting back to Cyclops Island, the Party searched the outlying areas. Eolar knows that there’s a ship on the island. A ship big enough to carry them all. Despite this though, he can find no safe harbour or cave big enough to hide it.
Finally then, Thesis and Durin get their wish. The Party will have to face the giants.
Leaving the priest Roly, the Children, the Hamster-men and the Sailors back in the safety of the magical mansion, the Party travel the seventeen miles to the giant village.
Leaving the path about a mile before the village, they stealthily climb the steep hill and wait until first light.
The giants are going through their morning duties. Washing, eating and preparing for the day ahead, when Eolar summons a huge Fire elemental in their midst.
A giantess screams and a moment later, a heavy bell rings out an alarm!

No Diamonds without Pressure

It’s taken over a week but the Party, as well as Roly, the two Hamsters, four Sailors and seven Children, have all collected as many of the rough diamonds as they can carry.
How many is that?
Can Svenone correlate the total for me and what that means in regard to individual encumbrance?
How fast the characters can move etc and what they’re using to carry the diamonds in…

A Life Unhatched

In its mountaintop nest and still inside its shell, the last thought that goes through the infant Roc’s undeveloped mind is:
‘I’m lonely and so very cold…’.

Four-arms is Forewarned

The Beast-master hasn’t come back and little Gronk has been gone all night…
Balling up all her courage, the giantess goes to visit the chieftain.

Snacks for Snakes

The monstrous snakes slither around the bottom of the valley. Something’s changed. Something massive has changed.
There have been no attacks from the giant birds for days and these new little flying creatures smell delicious.
Emboldened by the lack of assaults, the giant snakes start hunting in earnest for the elusive snacks.

The Children are the Future

Roly gathers the seven remaining children around him. Despite the abundance of food and wine and the absolute safety of Bodush’s mansion, Roly doesn’t feel safe.
These adventurers seem oblivious to the suffering of others. Hawkmoon seems the coldest, treating the Hamster-men and Sailors as servants or worse.
Although the adventurers rescued all the children, other than poor Daniel, it seemed more out of challenge than concern.
Still the Were-bear, the Lizard-man and the Dwarf, did try to help.
Eolar the Half-Elf seems the most aloof. Roly has heard of St Cuthbert; He can even still remember the stories of its great navy from when he was a boy. They believe in order above all else. Order but not kindness.
Still the diamonds he’s found will partially make up for the loss of his treasure chests.
Rocking the little ones back and forth across his massive belly, Roly decides that he should stick to the Dwarf. Barbaric though he may be, at least he has a conscience.
He is also worried about the journey back to Shalalah. The Sorcerer’s spells leave him and the children unsettled and disorientated. It’s almost as if he is torn into strips while travelling through the nothingness.
The Kraken has been fed recently. Perhaps it’ll leave a ship alone?
If only they had one.

Breakfast of Chompians

The remaining two Hamster-men huddle together. Unlike the Lizard-man and the Dwarf, they’re glad to be off Cyclops Island, for they know why Mendez named it thus.
It was one of their brothers that was killed there during Mendez’ first visit. Brutally skewered alive and roasted, still screaming over an open fire. The one-eyed giant creature ate him for his morning meal.
Mendez had eventually managed to escape, blind the one-eyed giant and save all the other Hamster-men, but though sightless, the giant had managed to survive.
The two giants recently encountered on the shore, though different in appearance were definitely the Cyclops’ kin. The stink of their evil was unmistakable.
Since emerging from the Gnomish Mountain, the evil they’ve encountered has been hard to understand. These creatures however seem so much worse.
Why do the Gods allow them to exist?

Ask and thou shall receive ... answers

While finishing another marvelous meal, Eolar basks in the glow of his own ego. How easy this trip for Estaban has been. Everything seems easy to him now.'Losing' the sailors and Hamster-men had merely been an oversight. Eolar then turns his thoughts to the return journey. Bodush¹s Teleport spell is typically unreliable for an arcane spell. He could use his god-given powers to Plane-shift everyone but that'll be time consuming and the plane of Law would possibly prove hazardous to the unenlightened amongst the group. Taking time out of his meditation, Eolar attempts to commune with his God...

"St Cuthbert, hear my prayer. Is there a way home not dependent on spells?"
A voice vibrant with power but heard only by Eolar answers:
"YES!".

"Oh Great One, is the Sky-ship still repairable?"
With the sound of a muffled snigger:
"NO!".

"Is there a ship?"
"YES!"

"Is it on this island?"
"NO!"

"Is it on Ape island?"
"NO!"

"Is it on the Giant¹s island?"
"YES!"

Eolar raises an eyebrow in surprise. They hadn't seen any harbours or ships when circling the island.

"Is it large enough to carry us all?"
"YES!"

"Do the Giants have it?"
"YES!"

Having a hunch creeping up on him, Eolar continues with an almost bored voice.

"Will they give it up peacefully?"
"NO!"

Eolar couldn't hide the simper. At least the lizard finally get's what he wanted. So there will be a battle.

"Are there more than a dozen Giants?"
"YES!"

Still not completely willing to fight a whole tribe of giants, Eolar wants to be sure.

"Are they Evil?"
"YES!"

With a bit more enthusiasm...

"Are they Chaotic?"
"YES!"

Suddenly with a more cautious voice

"Do they deserve to die?"
"YES!"

Eolar quickly kneels and looks up "I am sorry my Lord for not having sensed your wishes! I will return to the island at once to rectify this mistake! I'm deeply indebted to you for the guidance and help you have granted me! Please forgive a loyal and always faithful servant, my Lord!"

Mara’ch One

Skulking in a corner of Bodush’s ‘Marvelous mansion’, Mara’ch wonders to himself…
‘Do they trust me?’
Despite travelling with the Party for over a week, Mara’ch knows that he’s still not one of them.
He’s just one Kobold among the many warm-bloods.
Still, big and ugly as they are, the giants he saw were much worse.
Would helping to kill them prove his trustworthiness?

Bodush does some sums

Bodush counted the diamonds in his bag, if only he was stronger, then he could carry even more diamonds to help poor Esteban out with his financial troubles. Despite the lack of any altruistic impulse in how he had conducted his life in the past, he had to admit, the thought of helping out the family of his comrade in arms did give him a feeling of strange satisfaction. Perhaps it was this feeling that had sustained the unfortunate Lesyeux through her suffering and led her to her service of Pelor. While not necessarily something, he would do every day, helping others might be more appealing than he had previously thought.

Perhaps there was a way to get more diamonds to Esteban, as teleport thing was a bit too unreliable, and might lead to a loss of diamonds. If only he had a boat. Maybe the Giants could help him build one?

It’ll all End in Tears in the Fabric of Time and Space

Hawkmoon kicks at yet another diamond. How is it possible to be bored by such riches?
Still, all he wants is to go home. This mission has taken far too long.
Despite having training in the Eldritch arts, he feels nervous of Bodush’s ‘Teleport’ spell. He’s heard of terrible disasters befalling those who became over confident while using it.
Still he feels even more nervous of Eolar’s plan. The thought of travelling through the Plane of ‘Law’ makes him shudder.

New Banner: Under the Influence

The evil intentions of Esteban were felt heavily on the actions of the party this week. His bardic spell was over us all, but it was the veteran spellcasters, Eolar and Bodush, who most felt it's fell weight.

They were compelled to move with all haste onwards to Serpent Isle where diamonds were to be found scattered on the land, and a plan was hatched to get the party there swiftly.

Bodush would fly there and mark the landing spot, he would teleport back to the beach and then take as many of the party as possible to the isle. Eolar then cunningly commanded a sparrow to go to Bodush and followed the straight path he took.

All this to get to the island safely and start picking up diamonds - completely ignoring the gargantuan snakes with judicious use of filght, invisibilty and mage-hand.

But at what cost? It seems there was adventure, treasure and magic to be found with the giants. And, maybe most useful of all, a means to leave these islands and get back to Shalala.

It is almost as if the game finished with a screen that looked like this:

Level Complete
Kills: 2 of 18
Gold: 0 gp of 125,000 gp
Magic: 0 of 8
Secret locations: 2 of 7

Reptrehensible

Thesis seethes inwardly. The smug spell-casters whisked him off Cyclops Island before he could prove his bravery.
Giants! There were giants to pit himself against!
Now instead, he finds himself stooping low to gather shiny rocks. Why is it he feels like a servant rather than a king?
When will he receive the respect he deserves?
Things need to change.
Thingsss need to change ssssoon!

Moradin then Durin can Stand

After a few days of living in fantastic luxury and sleeping on the softest beds, Durin ironically begins to feel uncomfortable.
Despite the earlier loss of his backpack, he has gathered up more diamonds then he can count, but it all seems too easy.
In his sleep though, he hears Mordin, All-Father of the Dwarves, calling to him…
“Why have you failed me Durin? Why, when you had the chance to battle our hated enemy, did you allow your callow friends to take you from your rightful glory?”
Upon waking, Durin knows what he must do…

It looks Plane Shifty to me

OK… (Sound of DM rolling up his sleeves.)

'Plane shift' is another useful but flawed spell.

Eolar can only cast the 5th level spell 4 times per day.
It can carry up to 8 people per use to another/different dimension.
(It doesn't mention size constraints, so let's just assume (for now) that it doesn't matter...)

Eolar has to travel with the group transported so ends up in a similar predicament as Bodush.
Because he has to go backwards and forwards, he can only transport 14 people per day. Therefore it would take him two days just to get the whole Party to the other dimension.

And that’s IF he reappears anywhere near the remainder of the Party.)

'Plane shift' takes you safely into another dimension but is quite appalling at getting close to your intended location.

You will end up between 5 and 500 miles away from where you want to be!

Now it gets even more interesting…

It would take Eolar another two days to transfer everyone back to ‘our’ dimension AND the distance calculator would have to be applied again.

The Party would on average be about 250miles from target and you would probably end up in the sea again!

(You could in theory end up 1000 miles from Estaban's mansion!)

The real clincher though is that whatever happens, Eolar’s spell would be certain to split up the Party (by hundreds of miles!)

So in conclusion:

You do NOT want to split up the Party regardless of mental commands. As a DM it would be unfair of me to kill the characters piecemeal rather than all in one go.
;)

To Teleport or not to Teleport…

While ‘Teleport’ is a fantastic spell, it’s not a perfectly safe one.

Bodush can teleport five medium sized people 1500 miles per use of the spell.
He has only seen Estaban’s mansion once and therefore has a drastically reduced chance of finding it.

The Party currently consists of:

1) Bodush.
2) Eolar.
3) Thesis.
4) Durin.
5) Hawkmoon.
6) Mara’ch.
7) Ragnar.
8) Roly.
9) Meldo. (Large = 2 medium characters)
10) 1 x Riding horse. (Large = 2 medium characters)
11) 4 x Sailors.
12) 2 x Hamsters.
13) 7 x children.

A grand total of 25 for the purpose of Teleport!

This means that Bodush would have to make 11 trips (11 castings).
Unfortunately he can only cast the spell 7 times per day…

In addition, his chance of being successful first time is only 76%. (A failure chance of 1 in 4!)
This means he’ll probably have to cast the spell at least 13 times. (Unlucky for some?)

Of the 1 in 4 failure chance, the Party will end up off target for about half of these.
That’ll probably put you all in the water…
Fully armoured and heavily encumbered! (And Thesis all out of ‘Water walk’ potions.)

Sure, Bodush can simply cast ‘Teleport’ again, unfortunately everyone teleported must be touching each other.
(Tough luck to anyone who failed their swim role…)

Lastly there is about a 1 in 22 chance per use of the spell going badly wrong.
Everyone teleporting gets ‘Scrambled’ and takes 1d10 damage…

Not too bad you think?

That’s not all. At that point the teleport spell tries to continue but rather than a simple re-roll to see what happens, the chances of success collapse to a very poor chance of success.

Total success: None!
Off target: about 1 in 10!
More scrambling: about 4 in 5!

Worse, every time you’re scrambled the process repeats.
The likelihood is that everyone will take about 30 points of damage!

Not much you think?

It’s enough to kill the Sailors, the Hamster-men, the children and possibly Meldo and the horse!

Feel like risking it now?

(Curse Dag for making me read up on some more spellcasting rules!!!)

Off Balance

Considering the problem of Serpent valley I came to the conclusion that it’s an issue of abilities.
It’s hard to counter a spellcaster at the best of times but when a Party of six contains four of them, any hope of control is gone.
We’ve effectively got four characters that can fly, turn invisible, inflict massive damage from great distances, escape from most traps and rest in absolutely safety .
This leaves Durin and Thesis very square pegs in a Sorcerer shaped Party.
What can be done to fix the situation?
Nothing really.
It’s not right that the DM changes the world to beat a Party that has adapted itself to conquer it.
The Giant snakes would have been a real problem to the standard Party of Fighter, Rogue, Cleric and Wizard, but our Party's numbers and wizardry made them irrelevant.
You didn't even have to bother facing them.
They were (I suppose appropriately considering they were snakes) beneath you.
Saying that, the final encounter will pit the Party against the most powerful creatures in the D&D Universe…
Adventurers!

The Joy of Melee and Magical Treasure Avoidance

A strangely non-confrontational session last night. Oh well, you got to snake Island and gathered up as many diamonds as you could carry so you get the experience bonus.
(You missed out on some nice magical items on Cyclops island though...)

So then here are the current scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 17: 141,866xp
Eolar: Level 17: 140,953xp
Thesis: Level 16: 134,050xp
Bodush: Level 15: 116,399xp
Durin: Level 14: 98,168xp
Hawkmoon: Level 13: 86,351xp
Mara’ch: Level 13: 83,445xp
Ragnar: Level 13: 81,009xp

No level ups (Sorry Assif) but considering the style of play used yesterday, it can't be a surprise to anyone.
The Party could travel back via Cyclops island on the way back if you so choose though...

Roc beats Scissors... and Axes

Lost at Sea

With not much time between sessions I shouldn’t need to remind you of what’s happened but…

The Sky-ship was destroyed completely but everyone except two of the horses and one the children made it to the beach.
Thesis and Eolar encountered an oddly proportioned giant with a head approximately one-third the size of its entire body.
They killed it, but not before Thesis heard it cry for its Mummy.
That was two hours ago.
It is about 3pm.
The beach is inhospitable with sharp rocks and only shallow caves. Despite this the sailors and the Hamster-men collapsed as soon as they realised they were safe(ish).
Above the beach is a steep but small cliff-face and then Scrubland.

Roly’s two massive treasure chests were lost to the sea and the fat Cleric looks disconsolate.
Durin’s backpack and all its contents are also lost and anything not carried by the Party members is gone. (Be honest.)
The corpse of the colossal Roc has also been dragged beneath the waves by the Kraken and although unseen, you all have the feeling that it’s just a few fathoms under the surface… Waiting.
Debris from the battle is washing its way towards shore though. Mostly wooden wreckage, but some rope and possibly a few other useful items…

Hawkmoon has retained the map and compass, but how are you going to get off the Island?

Eolar: How many spells does he have left? Is he injured?
Thesis: Although easily defeating the giant baby, the sixty-foot dive onto water hurt him. How badly?
Bodush: Has used up all his 3rd, 5th and 6th level spells. What has he got left? Is he injured?
Durin: Was battered in the Roc’s single attack. He’s raged twice. How’s he feeling?
Hawkmoon: The Elf of arrow reliance has to be running low on arrows!
Mara'ch: Even rubbish spells run out. What’s he got left?
Ragnar: Who held his stuff when he turned all furry?
Roly: Strangely has more on him now than when first encountered.
7 x Children: With nothing left but their ragged clothes.
2 x Hamster-men: With nothing left but their leather harnesses.
4 x Sailors: Their quick thinking saved your lives, but they now seem dazed.
2 x riding horses: In an environment too jaggedy to canter on.
Meldo: has managed to reach some overhanging grass and is munching happily.

Everyone modify their character sheets to show the loss of equipment and keep track of spells/special abilities used and Hit points lost.

Assif’s probably got everyone’s HP’s down though, so please bring your Laptop.

Who let the Dogs out?

Gronk’s mother was worried. He’s idiotic enough to have ventured down onto the beach.
Clambering clumsily down out of her cave, she hurries over to the clan’s Beast-master's den. Barging past the flimsy door, she finds him inside.
“Gronk’s been gone for hours and you know how simple-minded he is. You must find him before it gets dark!”
The gruff looking giant, swivels around to see the giantess. His huge trunk like nose wobbling slowly to a halt.
“Your boy’s always getting lost. Why worry now?”
“With Brontes taken from me, he’s all I have left.”
Grumbling under his breath the Beast-master unleashes four of his best trackers.
Waving Gronk’s straw and rag doll under the huge dogs nose, he gives the order.
“Sniff ‘im out boys. Find little Gronky!”
The Beast-master looks at the shabby giantess standing before him. She’s not much to look at, but at least she’ll be grateful.

Bard Dream or Nightmare?

Estaban sits alone in his incense filled chamber. The doors are locked and his servants have instructions that he’s not to be disturbed.
Eyes creased shut; he murmurs arcane words in a tone, dark and unearthly.
“Heed my words little spy. How is it that you’ve allowed the adventurers to land on Cyclops Island? If there’s a problem I expect you to find a way to let me know!”
Breathing deeply while still in his trance, Estaban continues.
“Have you been observing the adventurers carefully? I want full descriptions of each of them. Their strengths and weaknesses. Their favoured spells and tactics, as well as any vulnerabilities and defensive shortcomings. Tell me everything I need to know!”
Hundreds of miles away over open water, a sleeper mutters under his breath.
“I shall do all that you wish of me.”
Estaban opens his eyes, but his mouth and jaw are still set tight. He’d assumed Mendez’ tales about his friends were simple exaggeration but after watching them defeat the Roc, he suddenly feels less sure.
Calling for one of his servants, Estaban sends him on to the city.
“Find me some local ruffians. Idiots who are willing to fight for a few gold coins.”

New Banner: Between a Roc and Octoplace

A masterpiece of plot set-up placed the happless blundering fools in charge of a non-flying flying ship, under-staffed by fluffy hamsters and sailors and carrying a precious load of the last surviving children of the ape-city and their benevolent, corpulent and aptly-named protector Roly. Down in the hold was untold (un-examined!) riches in Roly's two massive treasure chests, one of which was graciously promissed as payment for safe passafe.

But, of course the job was by no means easy - the sea was supposedly populated by sea monsters and we already experienced the terror of the air. But, we had a map and a compass and set-off.

Spying two islands, we circled one in search of a landing space only to find the second island missing. An island-sized sea monster - surely not. But no sooner had we made the decision to land than we were attacked. Before we knew it the ship was bit in half and there were children falling into the sea as half of the ship raised into the air on the remaining balloons.

This time the adventures would not allow needless deaths and Durin lept in and proceeded to drown heroically. Thesis also jumped in, forgetting he had taken water-walk and hitting the glassy surface very hard indeed. Soon those with flight came to the rescue and the situation was under hand. Thesis running to the coast with 4 of the children, the others safe also.

Not a good time for the Roc to arrive then. But it did, all 700hp of it. Step-up Hawkmoon, Bodush and Mar'ach ably supported by Durin. Raining arrows of death, and maximised fireballs were to be expected, but the little blue kobold showed some of his power. Round after round he sapped the strength from the Roc and soon he was barely able to fly let alone attack.

The last we saw was the Roc plummeting like a flaming meteor into the gaping beak of the massive Kraken. Fried whole chicken for lunch with a human-child amuse-bouche.

Now, the party has no ship and is stranded on an island with some very, very angry Giants.

The Jewel in the Skull

“It was my crowning achievement! It should have shown them all that Pandit Freud was just a crazed charlatan, obsessing only about the most simple of biological functions, ignoring the wider world and its infinite fractal nature, in his perverted pursuit of fleshly perfection. While he was busy with cutting up our experimental participants for his base interests, I managed to create a work of sublime beauty. A construction that was only intended to serve the simple need of water and waste disposal for our city, but it became so much more. Through my vision, and the simple application of basic sorcerous science, the city’s plumbing became a monument to my findings regarding the true nature of consciousness and reality itself. Trickling down through miniscule pipes, the fresh clean water of a multitude of mountain springs coalesced into a reservoir above the city, filling our minds, bodies and souls with cleanliness and the inspiration of the beyond, while beneath us, our waste was washed down into the primordial ooze, along with our unfulfilled desires failed dreams and nightmares.” Pandit Jung took a deep breath, looking around, before remarking, “In the case of my mentor, this was not just figuratively speaking. His waste was often caused by his failed experiments, some of whom were quite nightmarish, even to us.”

“I managed to harness the strength of the beautiful symbolism of this system into raw power, fuelling my mentor’s experiments. Of course, he couldn’t stand this. Here he was, pandering his flawed theories to our people, while all the while, secretly needing the fruits of my superior thought to even conduct the most basic of experiments. The situation was untenable. The adventurers’ arrival was the catalyst for the events that followed. He knew he had been weakened by us having to negotiate with the subderro, and so he had to get rid of me. He cast me out to fend for myself. I was captured by the Broken Lance Orcs, who tormented me with their pitifully banal tortures. I must admit, I was certain that I would die a rather nondescript death at the hands of the orcs, before I was acquired by your agents.”

Pandit Jung rubbed the manacles on his wrists. He eyed the self-dead pig in the corner with a gluttonous gaze.

“So you want me to map out my masterpiece? Yes there is a way directly into the treasure chamber from these tunnels, but do you think that this way is actually a feasible way to sneak into the city? I mean, there is something I didn’t tell you…Freud found a way of controlling the most heinous of the waste feeders. He inserted a scrying gem into its forehead. You would need to trick it into the vortex before he uses it to kill you.”

Another Quick Summary of the Party

The Sky-ship is destroyed completely. The Two remaining Hamster-men will not be patching it up anytime soon.
The second colossal Roc is also dead by your hands and has been dragged under the surface by the mighty Kraken.
Everyone has made it to the Beach of Cyclops Island, where Thesis has just killed a Giant child.
(So far only Thesis knows it was a child…)
The beach is inhospitable with sharp rocks and only shallow caves.
Above the beach is a steep but small cliff-face and then Scrubland.
A great deal of your equipment (Some of it magic) is lost beneath the waves, along with Roly’s two massive treasure chests.
Some debris is washing its way towards shore though.

Eolar: Mostly Gaseous Cleric of St Cuthbert.
Thesis: Razor-toothed Giant Child Killer.
Bodush: Indifferent Sorcerer of Maximised Fireballs.
Durin: Doggy Paddling Dwarf of Drowning.
Hawkmoon: Shockingly Destructive Elf Archer of Mass Destruction.
Mara'ch: Blue Kobold of Strength Draining.
Ragnar: Hulkish Behemoth of Ship Moving.
Roly: Suddenly Poor Cleric of Pelor
7 x Children: Washed but Teary.
2 x Hamster-men: In Shock at the loss of the Sky-ship.
4 x Sailors: Up the Inlet without a Ship.
2 x riding horses: Glad to be on Dry land.
Meldo: Amazingly still Alive and Kicking.

As far as I can see, the Party only lost two Horses and a Child. (Daniel)
;)

I found this Kraken just Leviathan around

Titans of the Sky and Sea

Murdering the infant Giant: 600xp.
Defeating the Colossal Roc: 15,300xp.
Surviving the size-of-an-island Kraken: Priceless.

Well I did promise you bigger things last session!
;)
Considering what you killed, survived and saved, you all did pretty well…
Frankly I’m surprised everyone didn’t go up a level!

Here are the current scores (In experience order):

Mendez: Level 16: 140,032xp (Up to level 17!)
Eolar: Level 16: 139,284xp (Up to level 17!)
Thes-hiss: Level 16: 132,708xp
Bodush: Level 15: 115,057xp
Durin: Level 14: 96,826xp
Hawkmoon: Level 13: 85,009xp
Mara’ch: Level 12: 82,103xp (Up to level 13!)
Ragnar: Level 12: 79,726xp (Up to level 13!)

Moritz, roll you're HP dice in front of Sven. Sven, roll both you're HP dice in front of Moritz.
No mutual cheating!

The Party’s (Welcome/Going-away) Party (Part 5)

The beneficiaries of Mendez’ generosity gather after he himself has long since disappeared to his chambers, partially supported by two of the dancing girls.
It is Tao who speaks first. “Again Mendez showers us with gifts. Were the fortunes he gave us the first time not enough?”
Kale speaks next. “I agree Brother. We should not allow his naivety to bankrupt him, but what can we do?”
Nervously, Eris, Mendez’ little sister speaks up. “We should all repay him in gold. He’ll resist but if we all insist, he’ll accept a token payment.”
Finally Cassim responds. “That seems fair, but how much should we give?”

The Party’s (Welcome/Going-away) Party (Part 4)

Finally Mendez finds his Mother and Sister surrounded by a large group of men.
Mendez’ Mother is younger than a lot of his Brothers. Of course she isn’t their Mother, but it’s still a little strange to realise that she’s not yet forty.
His sister is the youngest in the family, and is still only eighteen.
“Mother, Little Sister. May I steal you away for a moment?”
Both the women beam at him and make their excuses.
“I’ve missed you my beautiful boy. Have you more stories to tell?”
Mendez’ heart swells in his chest. He’d do anything to keep them safe.
Pulling out two exquisite golden rings from his pouch, he presents them one each.
“I can’t always be here to protect you, but these rings should help to keep you safe. Promise me that you’ll always wear them.”
Tears welling in their eyes, the women agree.

The Party’s (Welcome/Going-away) Party (Part 3)

Mendez next searches for Cassim and Kale. They are the best swordsmen of his Brothers, so they deserve the next two gifts.
Finding them in the arms of two of the exotic dancers, Mendez coughs to gain their attention.
“What’s up little Brother? Can’t find a girl of your own?”
Cassim has just turned thirty but Kale is only a few years older than Mendez himself.
Indignantly Mendez responds “I’ve never had a problem finding women! I just wanted to give you both a gift, but now I’m not so sure you deserve it.”
Hastily dropping the girl from his lap, Kale apologises. “A gift? What is it?”
Mendez smiles. Of all his Brothers, Kale is the most like him.
“I have a Scimitar for you both. They’re amazing weapons if used skilfully.”
Trying not to snatch, Cassim and Kale take the swords greedily.
“Thank you little Brother. Your generosity, as always, is too much!”

Interlude in Febril - The Mad God's Amulet

Szandor was not in the best of moods, Istvan realised. Having been his number one “problem solver” for the last few years, he had developed the skill of leaving a room before the fiery bolts of death appeared into a scientific discipline. Unfortunately, he had a nagging suspicion that Szandor would take an early exit in the worst possible way, so he just stood there, his eyes fixed squarely on the oddly shaped jewel hanging from a copper chain around Szandor’s neck.

“So let me get this straight,” Szandor was building up momentum. “Not only did you fail to see how letting Bodush and his merry band of hapless do-gooding idiots wander around with the disciples of Thereanthor, who have been talking for time immemorial about how to summon their master back from the pit,” Szandor took a deep breath. Why did his sentences have to be so long? “No, you had to report back to me how this was brilliant as it kept them from seeing our hand behind the scenes of the recent attack on Febril,”

If only he would finish this sentence, maybe there was a chance of giving an answer that would allow Istvan to avoid instant immolation, but no. “Not thinking about how this could lead to the most dramatic political upheaval since the Forbidden Lands became forbidden!” Istvan took a deep breath to say something, but Szandor kept droning on.

“And now, when I have finally found a way to save all of the ingrates of the furnace coast from being ruled by an infernal overlord you tell me that you have lost them? You tell me that they flew away? In a HAMSTER SHIP? If I wanted to appoint a household jester, I would go to the bard’s guild! I managed to capture a Derro, do you know how much hassle that was? Do you know how many hours I spent in the temple library, pretending to read about antique waste disposal systems, while researching how we can get rid of Zatark, only to find out that the only reliable way of getting that done is in the hands of some insane, flesh fetishising derro tailors with delusions of grandeur? Do you even care that my dire cats are starving, because even in his captivity, Pandit Jung managed to get hold of needles and threads and are using the rat-population in my dungeons to feed his compulsive need to create new and interesting life-forms, well do you? Of course not, nobody appreciates my sacrifices, nobody realises what I go through to keep the Furnace coast safe. All they talk about is that I am some sort of creepy old man, nly interested in dusty old artefacts. I hear them gossiping endlessly about my simple pleasures. I think I deserve some recognition.”

Szandor motioned to one of army of identical female servants who was bringing in a tray of dried fruits. Istvan breathed a sigh of relief. Szandor’s anger at him had been channelled into general disgruntlement with the world, so any immediate danger had passed.

“Right, let me know when Bodush, or any of his compatriots are spotted. I need adventurers stupid enough to go into a Derro infested hell-hole, and I know only of one group that fit that description that have the capability of making it out of there alive with the item I need to save the world. Without the Mad God’s Amulet, we have no hope, any of us.”

The Party’s (Welcome/Going-away) Party (Part 2)

Breaking away from his Uncle, Mendez finds two of his brothers.
“Zumurrud, Tao! I need to speak with you.”
Zumurrud is Mendez’ oldest brother and already in his late thirties, while Tao too is in his early thirties.
Greeting him with warm smiles, both Tao and Zumurrud embrace him.
“What’s the matter littlest Brother?”
“Nothing’s wrong, but I wanted to give you these before I got too drunk.”
With that Mendez hands over two spectacular long bows.
Both the Brothers seem touched but confused by Mendez’ generosity.
“You have already given us each fortunes from the cave of wonders. Why reward us further?”
Mendez pauses for a moment and then tries to explain.
“I ran from my responsibilities but you all stayed and protected each other and our parents. These bows are just my contribution to that protection. Use them well.”

Quick Summary of the Party

Eolar: Wind-bag cleric of St Cuthbert.
Thesis: Razor-toothed Lizard of Destruction.
Bodush: Indifferent Sorcerer of Mass Destruction.
Durin: Rampaging Dwarf of Melee avoidance.
Hawkmoon: Sneering Elf of Raining Death.
Mara'ch: Blue Kobold of minor irritation.
Ragnar: Growling Behemoth of Impressiveness.
Roly: Oddly Obese (considering his hardship) cleric of Pelor
8 x Children: Dirty but healthy.
2 x Hamster-men: Fully fit thanks to Roly.
4 x Sailors: Fully fit thanks to Roly.
4 x Riding horses: Shaken and a little stirred.
Meldo: Alive and Kicking.