Sunday, January 20, 2008

Directions

After the adrenaline of the fight has ebbed out of his system, Telfis slumps down next to a tree outside the cave. He suddenly feels drained and lost. Since he joined this bizarre group of adventurers a mild feeling of inadequacy has continued to creep up in the back of his mind. He always thought of himself as quite cunning and even wise. He was always confident in his assessment of right and wrong and his place in the world. His actions and reactions had always been immediate and resolute. For a street urchin this is the difference between freedom or a life of miserable servitude, or even death. Never hesitate, never look back. This is what his brother had drilled into him since even before he was able to speak. This is what he believed and lived all his life.
Now, increasingly often, he felt troubled by a previously unknown uncertainty. His reflexes did one thing and his second thoughts told him to do another. The first time he had unconsciously `disappeared' the precious scabbard before his conscious thought even had a chance to properly appraise it. But only shortly after that it felt wrong. He had felt like traitor. This had shocked him more than he cared to admit. For without trust there can be no betrayal. Since his brother had been killed he had never trusted anyone and no one had trusted him. He would take whatever he could. If he didn't someone else would without hesitation. No one expected him to be `fair'.

No betrayal without trust, Telfis thinks again.

I cannot betray anyone. Without him noticing his hand toys with the necklace he had secretly removed from the spider's lair. Then there was the matter of the girl. I am getting unfocused and soft, he thinks, I have trusted her and what did I get for it? Telfis can feel himself blush with embarrassment and anger. His brother would have given him a proper thrashing for such stupid gullibility. A pretty face and a desperate look was all it took to nearly get myself killed. Not only that but I also endangered my friends. Before he notices why, his anger flushes away from him, the blood in his cheeks stops pulsating. My friends.
Telfis sits there motionless for long moments, unseeingly staring into the woods. His hand reaches into his pocket, he takes out the ruby necklace and gently puts it back into the box.
Telfis blinks like he is awaking from a dream. He sighs and gets up. As he offloads the loot onto the priest's donkey he sees the fife. He puts everything else on the donkey and stares at this wondrous and beautiful little thing in his hands. It seems to be calling out to him. Telfis shrugs and gingerly lifts the instrument to his mouth.

7 comments:

Joebroesel said...

Eolar always knew this lost soul will find it's path again :)

robogeek said...

Interesting. Does this mean an alignment change? The old D&D rules used to be quite harsh on any changes to alignment (at least for Clerics) - but I don't know about the 3.5 rules. - Have a look if you get a chance.

Such a pity you didn't put the necklace on, at least to find out what it did. Now we will have to appraise it. ;)

Mendez said...

That was lovely.
You don't have to change your alignment, but if you want to, you can. No penalty.
I never really understood the purpose of alignments anyway.

Cynan said...

no alignment change.
I do not see why a chaotic neutral character can not have friends. anyway, momentary glimpses into the mind of a sixteen year old won't allow general statements of alignment =)

Insanodag said...

Bodush shudders, there is a feeling as if someone has walked on his grave.

No, I think the actions are completely within the auspice of Chaotic Neutral. Random acts of kindness are just as good as random acts of avarice.

I am reminded of the camp commander in Schindler's List, who decided for 5 seconds to be a good person...and failed...

robogeek said...

I wonder just what kind of Bard you will become? I think you should get a tambourine and become a Happy-Clappy Christian ;) "Onward Christian Soldiers ..."

Joebroesel said...

Reminds me of the bard from Asterix ....... I think my new silence spell comes in handy here if we want a good nights sleep again! ;-)