Friday, October 12, 2007

Secret Diary of Bodush - Translated from the original Infernal text

Day 1: Left Seawell. Mendez is doing something and is not coming. Luckily we have two replacements, a shifty looking kid from the next town over and what is hopefully a brave and strong warrior who will stand between me and any nasties we meet on the way. Walked most of the day. Halfling stayed out of the way.

Day 2: Slept well. Gajarpan ate a beetle in the morning and spent the rest of the day sleeping and digesting food. Was bored without him. Walked some more.

Day 3: Slept well. Some idiot decided on running for most of the day. I hate running, reminds me of my slave days. Orcs get worgs to ride on, slaves run. Met some pleasant goblins and a worg. Goblins very friendly, and a delight to bargain with, I like goblins. Thesis complicated matters. Big fight. I fulfilled a childhood dream and killed a worg and ate it. Got hurt. Note to self: Never, ever let Thesis talk to anyone again.

Day 4: Would have slept well, if it wasn't for the fact that every muscle in my body ached and that I pulled open the bandages on the wound that ferocious goblin warrior gave me. Note to self: This is all Thesis' fault, never bring him to a parley again. Ran into a river. Crossed river. Swore a lot. Got mule across river. What in the name of Wee Jas is this mule doing here? All it seems to do is carry a stupid shield and some smelly animal hides. Did a brief overview of my financial situation. I have enough to live comfortably in Seawell for 6 months, what am I doing here?

Day 5: Slept well. Found a valley. Annoying halfling found pieces of warrior, then ran away. Attacked by very, very, very big owlbear. Annoying halfling turned suicidal, must be some halfling deathcult they keep hidden from us 'big people'. Note to self: Study halfling theology to see if they have a Valhalla. Killed owlbear. Sanctimonious cleric badly hurt. Perhaps if he would carry his own thrice-damned shield, these things wouldn't happen to him. Note to self: Poison the mule at the earliest opportunity. Found some worthless magical baubles. Hopefully I will get to sleep soon.

1 comment:

robogeek said...

If I could read Infernal, I'd tell you that was very entertaining indeed. But I can't so I don't. - Thesis (Chapter 1 - Introduction).